Health: Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my...

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 013

You deserved it 5 393

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/08/2010 18:40 - United States

Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 855

You deserved it 3 159

By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 18:22 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 181

You deserved it 4 208

By Anonymous - 06/06/2015 04:20 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 926

You deserved it 2 185

By DonPedro - 16/01/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 855

You deserved it 11 379

Am I a ghost to you?

By AJ. - 19/08/2021 14:01

Today, at work, I thought I’d sneak a wee fart out, but ended up shitting myself. I just left work without telling anyone, went home, showered, then went back to work. No one missed me being away for 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 319

By Crap - 30/07/2015 00:57 - United States - Seminole

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 170

You deserved it 1 709

Nightmare Fuel

By anon - 01/06/2018 01:30

Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 666

You deserved it 357

By badbowel - 31/01/2018 13:00 - United States - Utica

Today, I was sick from both ends at work. My boss wouldn't let me go home, and told me to borrow a pair of spare pants to change into. I suffered another bout of gastroenteritis and shit someone else's pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 855

You deserved it 296

Walk, don't run

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 03:00 - Finland

Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 100

Long drive home

By Anonymous - 01/06/2021 04:01 - Australia - Kellyville

Today, at work, I shat myself at my desk thinking it was a fart. I had to waddle down to the parking garage and drive myself home. I’m a grown man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 380

slooby_fml 25

Saturday 3 August 2013 5:32

What a douche. Why are people so void of empathy these days?

haw008 14

Saturday 3 August 2013 5:32

I really hope nobody uses the "shitty situation" pun. Oh wait, I'm too late.

Comments

Blink_me26 21

Saturday 3 August 2013 11:20

At that point I could only suggest wiping your ass and going commando for the rest of the day.

reaxion 25

Saturday 3 August 2013 11:39

I would have walked out anyway and gone home. How humiliating!

pdp_fml 21

Saturday 3 August 2013 12:33

Did you at least try to wash your pants in the lavatory?

ashleyhalla 21

Saturday 3 August 2013 13:11

Wow your boss sucks!

Cazz91 21

Saturday 3 August 2013 14:04

Damn the two minute warnings!

mvc3ftw 17

Saturday 3 August 2013 14:25

There's a "shitty wok" south park joke in here somewhere but i just cant put it into words o.o

lifeofpie25 16

Saturday 3 August 2013 14:50

shit!

emtman 6

Saturday 3 August 2013 16:12

You can bet I wouldn't have stayed.

Testing1234 25

Saturday 3 August 2013 18:46

Goodness bosses are really messed up. Sry OP

BrotherPhil 35

Saturday 3 August 2013 18:50

Let me guess OP: you work in a call centre?

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The Top

Today, I let my friend bleach my hair, which resulted in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it and cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of my new hair to my friends, and I got the same reply from each and every one of them: "That better be a wig." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 320

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Today, I was on FaceTime with my sister. She remarked that my living room was a mess, and that she didn’t know how I kept a man with a place like that. I retorted, “He’s not with me for how well I can clean, when I can polish his knob like a marble floor!” I had no idea my dad was off camera. FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 54 815

You deserved it 5 160

Today, it was the first day of my job at a kindergarten. A boy fell over in the playground, so I ran over to see if he was OK. He got up and had a huge red mark on the side of his face. Shocked, I yelled "Oh my god, your face!" Turns out it's a very large port-wine birthmark and now he won't stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 856

You deserved it 15 637

Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 505

You deserved it 3 220

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I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 153

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 400

You deserved it 8 763

Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 446

You deserved it 5 848