Miscellaneous: Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking...

By poop - 18/05/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 623

You deserved it 19 517

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Same thing different taste

By bossgroper - 23/07/2009 20:23 - United States

Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 926

You deserved it 5 499

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 290

By GreenMonstR - 25/04/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 218

You deserved it 4 772

By xxx - 03/09/2017 04:29

Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 660

You deserved it 527

By PleaseDontHateMe - 20/09/2016 16:42 - Canada - Stony Plain

Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 294

You deserved it 5 011

By facefuckedguy - 12/08/2014 21:23 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I went to a job interview, and a guy ahead of me went to enter the building, only to walk face-first into a glass door. I rushed to help him up, and after we had a good laugh about it, I turned to walk inside, only to walk straight into the door as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 154

You deserved it 10 022

Show off

By a stupid jackass - 22/06/2012 01:28 - United States - New York

Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 937

You deserved it 37 544

Alexa, play "Mr Loverman" by Shabba Ranks

By Anonymous - 15/03/2020 18:07

Today, I was at a store when I saw a cute girl from my school. Trying to act cool, I went to hold the door for her. Too bad it was an automatic door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 1 103

Thanks a bunch

By nose hurts - 30/12/2012 01:01 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 636

You deserved it 3 477

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 679

You deserved it 25 635

ohhboyy 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:20

BOOOOM HEADSHOT

unlucky91 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:18

Well, either thats the end of meeting her or maybe you'll have a story to tell your kids :] but yeah FBYL ( **** both your lives). i hope she doesn't get a bruise

Comments

pekkle1 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 1:49

#10 you should learn to think before you talk. #2 meant the OP had low standards because he thinks he'll get with the girl just because he opens the door for her. Opening the door for someone is common courtesy, not a way to impress a girl.

fmlbeast 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 1:51

you're a liar. get a real life and real stories you tool.

fishness 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 1:53

YDI for not having the manners to know that holding a door is common courtesy, not a way to impress. And 54, some girls, or women, if you prefer, would rather a guy took the extra three seconds to hold the door for a fellow human being instead of being rude and letting it slam shut. Some women like manners. Holding doors is not in itself sexist... only when people do it for stupid reasons like the OP.

yipeeitsmel 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 1:58

The sad thing is, people actually voted that you deserved it.

Hey_Darl 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 2:09

Well, it's more of being nice, not impressing someone.....and it's just telling you that you aren't actually nice just by holding a door for some "hot" girl...If you held the door for everyone you needed you to, that's being nice. But in no way is it impressing for someone to hold the door for them... Think of it this way, you have no worries about someone thanking you for it or not :p Would be even better if you had a hilarious punch line to follow it hahah

vanessa_nessa_08 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 2:12

thats not a way to impress someone by holding the door? it's pretty normal to hold doors for people, whats so impressing about that? all i can say is, epic fail big time

Emma_91 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 2:25

Wow! Today a guy held the door open for me and now I wanna sleep with him! *insert major sarcasm*

ceecee794 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 2:27

good for you for trying to be a gentleman! the world needs more people like you!

Yeoman 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 2:27

Oh well, if she lets a door hit her she isn't worth keeping anyways.

Atropos_fml 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 2:29

Huh, I didn't know a guy holding a door open for me meant he was trying to impress me. I'll keep that in mind. "Oh, you held the door open for me! Please excuse me while I swoon."