Work: Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female...

By xxx - 03/09/2017 04:29

Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 660

You deserved it 526

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Same thing different taste

By poop - 18/05/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 622

You deserved it 19 517

By Anonymous - 15/04/2011 00:53 - Canada

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 619

You deserved it 36 066

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 048

You deserved it 5 407

By spreadburger - 21/11/2014 00:29 - United States - Tampa

Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 938

You deserved it 2 836

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 087

You deserved it 3 661

Thanks a bunch

By nose hurts - 30/12/2012 01:01 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 635

You deserved it 3 477

Anger issues much?

By justhatelife - 09/12/2016 14:49 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my coworker got angry at a mean customer. She came to the back where I work and started punching the wall repeatedly. When I tried to intervene and stop her from breaking her hand, she punched me in the stomach and uppercut me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 327

You deserved it 1 317

By DHarman - 25/05/2010 23:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 620

You deserved it 4 060

Hello there

By My eyes were on the prize - 12/03/2017 00:00

Today, at work, the most handsome guy walked in. Starstruck, I went to greet him and then take him to the owner's office, only to promptly walk really hard into the corner of the door frame, smacking my forehead. I have a massive bruise and my boss won't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 158

You deserved it 1 102

Accidents will happen

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 004

You deserved it 9 304

Regulate 21

Sunday 3 September 2017 4:53

Hitting someone with a door will usually leave a bruise. Next time just try holding it open until the people behind you take the strain or are completely through.

gobiteme2 34

Sunday 3 September 2017 6:58

A well timed accident no doubt.

Comments

acmariner99 25

Sunday 3 September 2017 4:35

The circumstances do seem suspicious.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 3 September 2017 4:36

Freud says there are no accidents.

Regulate 21

Sunday 3 September 2017 4:53

Hitting someone with a door will usually leave a bruise. Next time just try holding it open until the people behind you take the strain or are completely through.

azouwa 26

Sunday 3 September 2017 11:22

lol you humor me as always.

gobiteme2 34

Sunday 3 September 2017 6:58

A well timed accident no doubt.

08069172894 8

Sunday 3 September 2017 12:08

hello my people s

PenguinPal3017 19

Monday 4 September 2017 9:57

I don't know if I'd want to work with people who thought I'd do something like that on purpose. What kind of terrible people are they that they see this as something more likely to be intentional than an accident?

BohGlam 8

Monday 4 September 2017 13:27

Well, I'd only been working there for a week at that time, so they didn't really now me that well and who wouldn't be a little suspicious/anxious about the new manager. However, of course I apologised and also discussed this at the next meeting and I think we're all good now.