Intimacy: Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took...

By whatswrongwithit?:( - 30/09/2012 19:37 - United States - Chicago

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 464

You deserved it 3 656

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Same thing different taste

By Eddie - 07/08/2011 19:43 - Israel

Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 891

You deserved it 4 921

By captainocd - 19/08/2010 19:16 - United States

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 643

You deserved it 85 064

By Anonymous - 13/07/2011 05:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 718

You deserved it 8 514

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 431

You deserved it 9 834

By Geez - 19/10/2009 17:02 - Netherlands

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 174

You deserved it 3 759

By EyesOffMe - 07/09/2009 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was getting changed in front of my roommate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said, "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 003

You deserved it 58 974

By herve - 22/05/2009 19:50 - Lebanon

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 006

You deserved it 11 614

Beginner

By madzlovesgee - 16/05/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 858

You deserved it 53 371

By illequipt - 16/03/2009 03:20 - Canada

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 518

You deserved it 32 049

Pectus excavatum!

By Embarrassing Deformity - 29/07/2023 03:00

Today, while making out with my girlfriend, I got the courage to take off my shirt. I told her in advance that I had a sunken chest and she'd told me it was no big deal. Turns out it was, as she wretched at the sight of it, and then broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 94

C19_fml 9

Monday 1 October 2012 2:47

Very curious to see what "it's supposed to look like"..

Psych101 9

Monday 1 October 2012 2:47

At least she was nice about it. If she had just left, she wouldn't have been worth your time.

Comments

toughchick14 15

Monday 1 October 2012 2:50

Ouch! Sorry OP, I'm sure she didn't mean it like that.

jebdhsiqbs 1

Monday 1 October 2012 2:51

Sue her

SkyBirdy 5

Monday 1 October 2012 2:52

Don't worry, I'm a tranny too.

hopsinlove17 26

Monday 1 October 2012 2:54

What...? I'm frightened now. O.O

the_enigma1019 1

Monday 1 October 2012 2:55

Well, google is your friend.

Trisha_aus 15

Monday 1 October 2012 6:25

But he's friends with everyone these days..busy guy he is.

_krystallynn_ 11

Monday 1 October 2012 3:00

so what was wrong with it?

Austyn57 1

Monday 1 October 2012 3:04

what a biotch

duckyeah 6

Monday 1 October 2012 3:04

That's such a terrible thing to say! Even if she was joking... I'm sorry, OP! Don't let that ruin your self-confidence.

C19_fml 9

Monday 1 October 2012 3:04

It's not "weird", some people's parents just have different preferences on whether their child gets it done or not.

DespairFaction 11

Monday 1 October 2012 3:05

The problem is you didn't yell KABOOM or something like that.

RpiesSPIES 27

Monday 1 October 2012 3:06

Maybe she means that she knows what they should realisticly look like instead of a 10 inch long extension.

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Today, a guy for whom I did a design job told me he would only be able to pay me in 3 weeks. I told him that it was OK, as long as I didn't have to follow him around to collect my money. "Don't worry, I know the feeling," he said, "I used to run an illegal business." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 513

You deserved it 2 171

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196 622

You deserved it 34 712

The Top

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. As I was leaving his house, I heard him shout, "Hey! Wait! Sweetie, get back here!" He was talking to his cat who'd run out the door behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 804

You deserved it 3 437

Today, I had to face the fact that although I’ve been married for almost 2 years, my dream girl has come into my life and wants a relationship. I don’t know how to break it off with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 1 601

Today, I found my boyfriend and his friends laughing hysterically and practically choking on popcorn. They were watching a video of me in a school play, trying to sing while sobbing because I'd just pissed my pants in front of 200 people. Thanks for giving him the video, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 724

You deserved it 2 749

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 802

You deserved it 3 512

Today, I was at a concert. It was dark and everyone was singing and waving their lit-up phones in the air. I was having a great time, until someone snatched my £200 phone out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 426

You deserved it 12 030

Today, my boss threatened to fire me. Why? An old lady spent 30 minutes looking at our menu before asking for "cottage pie." After telling her that it wasn't an item on the menu, she spent another 20 minutes deciding. She then asked for several more items we didn't have, then complained to my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 391

You deserved it 110

Same thing different taste

Beginner

Pectus excavatum!

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