Intimacy: Today, after recently moving to an apartment, we've already been...

By Jeathrow - 16/02/2012 15:01 - United States

Today, after recently moving to an apartment, we've already been asked if we wanted to buy drugs, had a children's chair thrown through the front window, our door painted with "CUNT LICKER" and my laundry stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 268

You deserved it 4 002

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/08/2013 09:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 805

You deserved it 2 729

Suburbia

By Anonymous - 26/07/2011 14:05 - United Kingdom

Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street, about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 854

You deserved it 3 022

By Anonymous - 11/07/2011 07:42 - Australia

Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 582

You deserved it 3 283

By Sarah - 17/08/2012 07:45 - Canada - Penhold

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 129

You deserved it 3 058

By wheatsnake - 08/10/2009 13:31 - Australia

Today, I took my new laptop into my house from my car, thinking it would be a too much of a target for kids grabbing it. I came home tonight to find my door kicked in, my laptop gone and my TV ripped from the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 171

You deserved it 2 813

The nerve!

By Anonymous - 06/12/2021 20:01

Today, a couple of packages were stolen from our apartment doorstep shortly after being delivered. A little while later, the thief brought the torn packaging back and left them at the bottom of our stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 82

Give it back

By upset room mate - 18/08/2011 06:59 - United States

Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 130

You deserved it 4 302

By Anonymous - 07/01/2015 00:26 - United States - Eureka

Today, I moved into my new apartment complex. I left some items including a cherished painting my best friend made for me outside the front door while I moved furniture into my bedroom. When I went back outside, someone had kicked a huge hole in the painting. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 543

You deserved it 4 292

Redesign

By rian - 03/04/2021 21:30

Today, my house was broken into. Nothing was stolen, but my laptop had feces smeared all over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 78

Open invitation

By Anonymous - 18/04/2022 06:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, after a grueling business trip, my husband and I came home to all our furniture broken, every window smashed, all the floors scratched and carpets ripped, all our electronics stolen, and all our food and booze gone. What happened? Our son held a party and invited literally everyone he could from campus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 291

You deserved it 174

ajpopoca88 3

Thursday 16 February 2012 18:48

nows a good time to find somewhere else to live. before something dangerous happens

PlaidPanda 9

Thursday 16 February 2012 18:49

Did you do ANY kind of research/asking around before moving on?

Comments

dobbyisfreeeeeee 10

Saturday 18 February 2012 6:23

Nice knowing you

summer__xo 0

Saturday 18 February 2012 7:29

Time to move?

NateSkye 3

Saturday 18 February 2012 9:12

Where the hell is Spidey, honestly?

Luunatic 13

Saturday 18 February 2012 15:24

Move out!!!!!!!!!

Cat_Daniels 6

Sunday 19 February 2012 0:52

Your children will have such good influences!

sacredeye73 11

Sunday 19 February 2012 6:19

Maybe you should have been more attentive to your wife. Let this be a lesson.

JayJavaMonsterr 10

Sunday 19 February 2012 20:57

Nice neighborhood! You live in apartment "**** LICKER"? My friend lives in apartment "BLUE WAFFLE"... Nice building with nice people... Free chairs & good dealers! It's a paradise! But seriously, MOVE OUT!