Health: Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through... - FML

By Rowansgonnarow - 05/07/2014 20:19

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 423

You deserved it 15 953

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Same thing different taste

By Justkillme - 15/11/2018 03:00

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 679

You deserved it 423

By unluckybirthdaykid - 11/09/2017 23:15

Today, my birthday, was going great until my boyfriend received a text from a girl saying he gave her chlamydia. Now I have no boyfriend, but at least I have the chlamydia keeping me company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 496

You deserved it 403

By clinictime - 11/04/2012 23:05 - Canada - Okotoks

Today, my ex, who I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured my heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, and advise me to go to the clinic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 512

You deserved it 5 039

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 16:00 - Sweden - Linköping

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 83

By fmltom - 16/12/2015 02:21 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 747

You deserved it 1 670

Contact tracing

By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 16:58 - United States - Mechanicsburg

Today, I woke up to a text from my girlfriend telling me to call when I wake up. Turns out she had one of her friends over who tested positive for Covid and I was just at her house, so now I’m forced to quarantine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 248

By Anonymouse - 02/07/2011 07:42 - United States

Today, while I thought my brother was playing with my new phone, he was actually texting a bunch of my friends that I have chlamydia. He deleted his texts so I wouldn't see them, and I spent a half-hour trying to figure out why I kept getting texts of shock and sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 605

You deserved it 4 787

Knowledge is power

By andy - 28/01/2013 04:36 - United States - Long Beach

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 343

You deserved it 2 845

By Anonymous - 15/02/2016 01:57 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, after trying for months for a baby, I finally got a positive test. For chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 540

You deserved it 3 311

By Bilirubin - 20/02/2010 16:22 - United States

Today, at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally asked me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejected her, and will no longer speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 724

You deserved it 3 931

Next

Top comments

toxic_walrus 15

Sunday 6 July 2014 0:46

She gave you chlamydia AND has bad taste in music? You sure know how to pick em!

tj4234 35

Sunday 6 July 2014 0:49

Hey, i just ****** you. And this is crazy. I have chlamydia. So now you do maybe. Also, Sirin is the best, she's so cool. I wish she were my mum and all.

Comments

Antivist 13

Sunday 6 July 2014 8:42

everton99 16

Sunday 6 July 2014 10:47

At least it's curable. Could have been Herpes or HIV.

jackfowler_18 4

Sunday 6 July 2014 10:56

YDI FOR WHORING AROUND

acerredrum 23

Sunday 6 July 2014 16:36

OP never once mentioned getting paid.

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Sunday 6 July 2014 12:15

YDI in my opinion. In these days and age, where it is so easy to get condoms, I don't understand that so many people still choose to have unprotected sex. It feels like your health does not matter to you much. Be thankful that it was "just" chlamydia.

mosquito19 14

Sunday 6 July 2014 13:11

you two are perfect for each other

CeDean 3

Sunday 6 July 2014 14:28

stop sleeping around. thats kinda your fault

bobboe 5

Sunday 6 July 2014 16:20

Hey, we just had sex, And this is crazy, But I've got the clap , So do you baby...

sailorarctic 22

Sunday 6 July 2014 17:06

YDI, always use protection. nuff said.

mansfield_j 27

Sunday 6 July 2014 18:02

Atleast you can treat it, better than getting aids or HIV. Sorry for the luck dude.

MzZombicidal 36

Sunday 6 July 2014 20:28

#269, funny that you tell me to pipe the **** down for saying what I think.

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The Top

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 154

You deserved it 68 067

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line told me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I had a headache, my legs were stiff, and my date must've thought I stood her up. The tech finally arrived, pries the door open, then rudely asked, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 451

You deserved it 3 567

The Top

Today, I was written up and given a penalty for being 3 minutes late to class. By my instructor. Who was 17 minutes late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 91

Today, while reading an erotic story, I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 641

You deserved it 12 460

Today, my life is so boring that I started looking through my can of coins and sorting them out by year. The oldest coin I have is from 1963. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 816

You deserved it 8 947

Today, after a year and half of being single, I was asked out on a date. I was asked by a married man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 906

You deserved it 206

Today, my dad sent me back and forth repeatedly to the auto parts store for a replacement headlight bulb. He kept insisting that what I brought back was the wrong bulb. I had to drag him there to show I was getting the right one by asking the clerk. He's wrong, but is mad at me for embarrassing him in front of the staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 73

Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. with an extremely satisfying fart. It felt great and I probably would have fallen right back to sleep, except that my ass was 8 inches from the air intake of my CPAP machine that I use, due to smoke inhalation damage from being a firefighter. It was so gross that I threw up in the CPAP mask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 213