Health: Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through... - FML

By Rowansgonnarow - 05/07/2014 20:19

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 423

You deserved it 15 953

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By Justkillme - 15/11/2018 03:00

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 679

You deserved it 423

By unluckybirthdaykid - 11/09/2017 23:15

Today, my birthday, was going great until my boyfriend received a text from a girl saying he gave her chlamydia. Now I have no boyfriend, but at least I have the chlamydia keeping me company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 496

You deserved it 403

By clinictime - 11/04/2012 23:05 - Canada - Okotoks

Today, my ex, who I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured my heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, and advise me to go to the clinic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 512

You deserved it 5 039

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 16:00 - Sweden - Linköping

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 83

By fmltom - 16/12/2015 02:21 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 747

You deserved it 1 670

Contact tracing

By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 16:58 - United States - Mechanicsburg

Today, I woke up to a text from my girlfriend telling me to call when I wake up. Turns out she had one of her friends over who tested positive for Covid and I was just at her house, so now I’m forced to quarantine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 248

By Anonymouse - 02/07/2011 07:42 - United States

Today, while I thought my brother was playing with my new phone, he was actually texting a bunch of my friends that I have chlamydia. He deleted his texts so I wouldn't see them, and I spent a half-hour trying to figure out why I kept getting texts of shock and sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 605

You deserved it 4 787

Knowledge is power

By andy - 28/01/2013 04:36 - United States - Long Beach

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 343

You deserved it 2 845

By Anonymous - 15/02/2016 01:57 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, after trying for months for a baby, I finally got a positive test. For chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 540

You deserved it 3 311

By Bilirubin - 20/02/2010 16:22 - United States

Today, at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally asked me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejected her, and will no longer speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 724

You deserved it 3 931

Next

Top comments

toxic_walrus 15

Sunday 6 July 2014 0:46

She gave you chlamydia AND has bad taste in music? You sure know how to pick em!

tj4234 35

Sunday 6 July 2014 0:49

Hey, i just ****** you. And this is crazy. I have chlamydia. So now you do maybe. Also, Sirin is the best, she's so cool. I wish she were my mum and all.

Comments

redstone7693 29

Monday 7 July 2014 5:35

Shit, bro. Chlamydia is terrible. Use condoms next time, if there is a next time. :( I wish you the best of luck.

juanschwartz 18

Monday 7 July 2014 6:30

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy; but I have an STD, so get checked maybe.

33joker 1

Monday 7 July 2014 6:51

Sucks for sure but ten days of antibiotics, no drinking, and no sex and you're good. At least she didn't send you a Justin Bieber herpes mix.

bachoman 10

Monday 7 July 2014 10:23

There are huge law suits to be had if someone doesn't warn you of any STD's they do not have prior to intercourse.

Fou_Lou 20

Monday 7 July 2014 15:07

YDI if you didnt use a condom. FYL if you did.

Epickitty58 29

Monday 7 July 2014 16:23

The catchy tune will haunt you the entire drive to get yourself tested . . .

Strider207 5

Monday 7 July 2014 21:26

You... You are just far too stupid to insult.

ily53012 3

Monday 7 July 2014 22:40

Wow Thanks Too All Of You Who Have Left The Bro/Bra Comments. definitely Just Made My Day Lol. And Second Of All I'm Going To Save You The Trouble Of A Horrrrrible Remix Also And Say I Hope You Use A Condom From Now On If You Didn't Before!

Studwithproblems 8

Monday 7 July 2014 22:56

Should've worn a condom, yu won't learn till it falls off next time

purplecreature 5

Tuesday 8 July 2014 0:35

its ironic that as soon as I started reading this my sister started listening to the song >.

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Health Relatable Public freakouts Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Cops Transportation Family Kids Fight Miscellaneous AITA Mother in law Love Relationship advice Social Media Art Work Students Animals Birds Sleep Noise Mental health Contraception

The Top

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 915

You deserved it 44 866

Today, I began noticing a certain female name popping up on my husband’s social media notifications,so I asked him about it. He got irrationally upset at the fact that I pronounced her name wrong, told me she’s “nobody”, then said, “I hate it when you accuse me of shit!” I didn’t even accuse him of anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 76

The Top

Today, I saw a commercial for some sort of meaty beef dish. The camera zoomed in and my mouth watered because it looked so delicious. Then flashed the next scene: Golden Retrievers running through a field, then eating from their bowl. My mouth just watered for a dog food commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 486

You deserved it 24 480

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 293

You deserved it 10 007

Today, my boyfriend told me that he has a secret love child, but that its mother had passed. I'm supposed to now raise this kid? FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 107

Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 72

Today, my son has a habit of picking on his little brother when in a bad mood. I heard a massive crash and found him out cold with his little brother holding a homemade slingshot and a bunch of rocks. Apparently, in school they just learned about David and Goliath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 456

Today, I was offered a job that pays almost double what I'm currently making. I just found out that it requires me to relocate to Florida. I'm forced to turn it down to protect my young trans daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 1 080