Intimacy and Cheating: The taste test

The taste test

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 07:59

Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me when I went to give him a blowjob after he got home and his knob tasted different. It was the other woman’s fanny juice still on him because he hadn’t had a shower yet. So f…ing angry and grossed out right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 896

You deserved it 203

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Same thing different taste

By HaleyIsabelle - 08/03/2010 20:54 - France

Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 449

You deserved it 3 708

Equality

By Anonymous - 04/12/2011 07:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 212

You deserved it 6 343

Fromage

By Anonymous - 20/11/2023 14:00

Today, I spent a good 30 seconds licking my husbands' penis all over before I drew back his foreskin to really start going to town on it, only to discover that under the head was covered in his stinking knob cheese. I threw up three times. He’s an adult man and can’t wash himself properly. Pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 202

Cheesy delight

By blew it - 05/06/2019 02:00

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend, only while I was down there I noticed he had an ungodly amount of dick cheese under his foreskin. He’s now mad at me for blueballing him, even though he’s clearly the one at fault for being a filthy pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 377

You deserved it 391

By anonymous - 04/11/2014 12:03 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 230

You deserved it 8 479

By UUUGHHH - 05/02/2016 20:33 - France - Villejuif

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 147

You deserved it 2 711

Taste test

By Anonymous - 08/06/2020 23:04

Today, I went to give my boyfriend head, and his dick tasted like condoms. I'm 5 months pregnant, we obviously don't use condoms. He got scared when I stopped and told him, then he got mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 632

You deserved it 264

Pissed off

By Pissed - 29/09/2022 00:01

Today, I found out a recent hook-up, who’d pounded the fuck out of me until I came all over didn’t get uncomfortable and ghost me “because he was just a fuck boy.” It was probably because a noticeable, large part of the sweat/squirt spot on my bed after, was actually my own piss, I just didn’t smell it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 187

You deserved it 1 302

Crotch rot of the mouth

By Anonymous - 25/03/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 310

By Anonymous - 28/11/2017 15:00

Today, I saw my 32-year-old boyfriend of 4 years pick his nose and eat it. The booger in question was attached to his nose and he sucked it out spaghetti-style. He then tried to kiss me. I still feel my stomach churning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 130

You deserved it 578

Jonkbaby 22

Sunday 4 July 2021 9:27

I'm very sorry. You deserve a great man based on your efforts

Hangryko 29

Sunday 4 July 2021 21:46

I advise getting tested and send him the bill, right after kicking him out. I am so sorry, OP.

Comments

raven_of_azarath 34

Sunday 4 July 2021 9:01

When people say that when you have sex with someone, you have sex with everyone they’ve slept with, I don’t think this is what they have in mind. In all serious though, that sucks. Sorry OP.

Jonkbaby 22

Sunday 4 July 2021 9:27

I'm very sorry. You deserve a great man based on your efforts

sweetpotato 12

Sunday 4 July 2021 12:44

that's a HUGE assumption. how exactly do you know ? I mean he could've tasted different from working and sweating. ydi for sucking him after a long day. atleast let the man shower

Bonniibiik 6

Sunday 4 July 2021 20:12

Sweat and vaginal secretions don’t taste the same.

sweetpotato 12

Monday 5 July 2021 17:05

yea and I'll repeat it for you, you cannot tell WHAT it is without proof. how's he supposed to smell fresh coming from work ? the OP is clearly insecure once again, you CANNOT say it's "vaginal secretions" just by taste.

Nhayaa2.0 17

Monday 5 July 2021 6:34

Yeah, it doesn't taste the same so she can tell but hell yeah I'm with you on the shower part. I hate it when a man's not clean. Erk.

Hangryko 29

Sunday 4 July 2021 21:46

I advise getting tested and send him the bill, right after kicking him out. I am so sorry, OP.

TexasKitten79 6

Sunday 4 July 2021 21:49

And you aren't referring to him as your EX boyfriend because....?

diraven 15

Sunday 4 July 2021 23:25

Wait. How do you know what "fanny juice" tastes like?

Nhayaa2.0 17

Monday 5 July 2021 6:37

Unlike men who usually don't taste their own secretions, women tend to give ******** during sex. Therefore, they taste their own "fanny juice". And yep, it has a special taste so we can tell.