Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: The talk

The talk

By Anonymous - 12/10/2009 01:28 - United States

Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 331

You deserved it 2 278

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Same thing different taste

By dpl - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 571

You deserved it 5 629

By Anonymous - 18/07/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 068

You deserved it 3 887

By Confused lesbian - 16/07/2018 13:30 - United States - Lynchburg

Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 483

You deserved it 293

The Three Bears Conundrum

By Madison43097 - 24/09/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 780

You deserved it 2 541

By Person - 07/06/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 629

You deserved it 9 937

By Told_You_So - 09/07/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 063

You deserved it 5 081

By killercow - 19/04/2011 16:19 - United States

Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said, "You know you can't wash and reuse these?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 226

You deserved it 22 994

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 10:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 894

You deserved it 40 455

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 813

You deserved it 37 514

By Tucker - 18/11/2009 21:35 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called it down. It came running down the stairs. With a used condom in its mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. It put it directly in my mom's hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 451

You deserved it 8 786

prettymuchyea 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 4:36

well, theres only one reasonable thingy that could have gone down..... your cars a ***** :[

Bloodknight 22

Monday 12 October 2009 9:24

Eew, so there are used condoms in your car and you don't know where it's from? Seems like you have bigger problems than getting "the talk"!

Comments

ErasorRain 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 0:59

It was the barking spider!

lottaluv 0

Wednesday 14 April 2010 16:48

haha #11

hilda_kitty 16

Thursday 24 June 2010 0:47

... that guy must've had one small dick for the condom to fall off.

whyLoveHurts 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 14:56

lmaoo how adorable :))

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Thursday 22 November 2012 1:12

How is that adorable at all, whatsoever?

stephanieeDawnx 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 23:56

Liar.

OtherSideStoryOf 3

Tuesday 28 August 2012 21:25

Why would you write 'about sex' if you said 'the talk'. Idiot.

Thunderstruck14 30

Tuesday 10 December 2013 22:55

I don't see how that makes them an idiot.... why do you even care? You do realize there are people from other cultures who aren't used to the same slang as us, right? Maybe the OP was just trying to be clear so everyone would understand. Either way it only takes a few words and doesn't make a big difference.

Authoress14 15

Saturday 22 December 2012 17:00

lock ur car idiot!!

Larco_fml 3

Sunday 17 August 2014 3:16

I remember in high school some kids discovered a condom vending machine in a restaurant, bought one, unrolled it and threw it at each other before leaving it in some random car with unrolled windows. I always felt bad about it - stupid shenanigans may very easily have ended someone's marriage.