Miscellaneous: Thanks Mom

Thanks Mom

By megangubler - 26/05/2014 22:34 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, my mom insisted on making my lunch. She didn't know that knives are banned at my high school, and packed me a steak knife for cream cheese. I'm now suspended for 7 days, and she refuses to say that she did anything wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 686

You deserved it 5 282

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Same thing different taste

This is America

By LilSquanch - 05/03/2022 07:00 - United States - Terrell

Today, my school caught a kid with a firearm, so during our lunch period we had to stay in our classrooms and nobody can leave and nobody can get food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 100

By mom - 26/04/2018 15:00

Today, after it appeared my daughter was throwing away any vegetables in her school lunch, I packed her all vegetables so she would have to eat at least one. Nope! She threw them out and complained to school that "mommy doesn't feed" her. I got a call from the school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 420

You deserved it 609

Armed and not dangerous

By littledonny - 12/05/2017 18:00

Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 005

You deserved it 1 285

Evil will always win

By emily ann - 21/05/2023 00:01

Today, I was suspended from school for “being involved in a fight.” The other girl beat me up while I didn't do anything to defend myself, for fear of getting in trouble. She got off scot free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 126

By Anonymous - 16/06/2017 06:00 - United States - North Olmsted

Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 799

You deserved it 387

By mommy_issues - 29/08/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 164

You deserved it 4 527

By Kulcha - 13/02/2009 11:07 - Australia

Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 422

You deserved it 40 440

Barred for life

By tariel - 22/05/2018 21:08

Today, I went to my favorite restaurant with my mother. The food took a little longer than usual to arrive and my mom threw a fit, complete with kicking and screaming, in the middle of the restaurant. My mom and I are both banned for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 235

You deserved it 412

By christine brown - 26/08/2011 12:03 - United States

Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 711

You deserved it 3 715

Too many cooks, etc.

By hazyshadows - 18/03/2020 17:02 - United States - Edmond

Today, I tried to make a grilled cheese sandwich for myself, but as soon as I started, my mom rushed into the kitchen and criticized me for making it "wrong". She then made the sandwich for me. It tasted significantly worse than when I make them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 751

You deserved it 177

Comet_Candy 23

Tuesday 27 May 2014 11:11

Gosh, why didn't she just pack a plastic knife or something :/. Maybe just a spoon... FYL, OP!

itwasthedognotme 14

Tuesday 27 May 2014 11:08

Wow man, schools are harsh! Hope your mum sticks up for you eventually. FYL.

Comments

applecrusher 18

Monday 29 December 2014 8:48

I could maybe understand a butter knife but why a steak knife?

ChippyChoppy 21

Thursday 31 December 2015 21:55

At least the school respects the pupil's safety

fantasyworld 37

Monday 18 July 2016 16:27

Why would you need a steak knife for cream cheese? A butter knife would do fine.

randybryant799 20

Friday 22 October 2021 6:57

Why would you need a steak knife for cream cheese. That doesn't make sense.

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The Top

Today, my brother is staying over for a while. I thought I was prepared for this, but I totally forgot that he is inexplicably prone to having random nosebleeds. He's going through my Kleenex faster than a horny teenage boy left alone in his room. Time to hoard Kleenex like how people hoarded toilet paper in 2020. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 85

Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 859

You deserved it 6 043

The Top

Today, my ex called and said he still loved me. I said I’d move across the country to be with him. Then he said we could live in his dad’s house, so I can protect him from his sister’s best friend, who gave him chlamydia. At the end of call, he said he’s seeing someone and he likes her because she buys him gifts and food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 379

Today, I found out I have a yeast infection, a bladder infection, and a urinary tract infection all at the same time. Oh, and I also have the flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 502

You deserved it 713

Today, I found out my husband sent 3000 friend requests to random women on Facebook. He says it's no big deal and doesn't mean anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 074

You deserved it 82

Today, I was at work for almost two hours today before realizing I had marinara sauce on my face. My coworkers didn’t say anything because I’m really clumsy and they figured it was blood, and therefore not unusual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 789

You deserved it 297

Today, I was at the book store when a book caught my eye: Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies. I wanted to look through the book but I was too nervous to pick it up, thinking everyone in the store would look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 651

You deserved it 6 136

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom tried to bribe him with an iPhone to dump me. He accepted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 359

You deserved it 2 466