Kids, Awkward and Work: Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

By helen_ - 23/04/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 519

You deserved it 6 056

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Same thing different taste

By GT716 - 07/04/2009 12:50 - United States

Today, I was at work at a local hot dog chain. A child (about 10, who I've seen there before) came in to order food for his Dad. He orders very excitedly, and I told him he'd be a great worker here when he gets older. He said "oh no, my Dad says I'm too smart to work in a place like this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 021

You deserved it 13 931

By Laurel - 25/05/2013 04:37 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 891

You deserved it 9 070

By Anonymous - 22/03/2016 21:17 - United States - Fremont

Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 116

You deserved it 2 086

By John W. - 12/10/2011 12:37 - United States

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 639

You deserved it 47 031

By Anonymous - 31/08/2012 23:16 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 145

You deserved it 4 922

By Anonymous - 23/09/2015 15:48 - United States - Bedminster

Today, I got an angry call from my 7-year-old son's school. It turned out that while doing a "what I want to be when I'm older" assignment, he wrote that he wants to be an internet troll so he can make people mad and make them kill themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 406

You deserved it 4 327

By MathTeacher - 02/05/2011 14:30 - United States

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 062

You deserved it 46 105

By tlm84 - 28/07/2014 02:54 - United States - Fitchburg

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man, and that my ass was grounds for discussion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 617

You deserved it 5 063

By daddy'sgirl - 21/06/2012 04:11 - United States - Memphis

Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 184

You deserved it 75 435

Goals!

By faitesdesgosses - 19/05/2014 14:27 - France - Mantes-la-ville

Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like to have when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 189

You deserved it 7 129

Jaywin 3

Thursday 23 April 2009 23:16

That's when you say "Too late and I ****** your mom in high school" and continue with your presentation.

stargirl14 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 23:16

well the kid already sounds like a douchebag to me lol

Comments

ohdamn_fml 2

Friday 24 April 2009 4:40

Man 10 year olds are mouthy mofos nowadays

nikki1001 0

Friday 24 April 2009 4:47

Really? You guys are encouraging violence against a child for calling someone a douchebag? Wow.

hellogoodfriend 0

Friday 24 April 2009 4:47

Man, I hate kids. Why do people like them? They're such brats, there's nothing good about them. :p

lilfR3dD 0

Friday 24 April 2009 4:55

since when do 10 year old's know what a douchbag is?? wtf?!

lunchmeat317 0

Friday 24 April 2009 5:35

Straight-faced, too! That is hilarious. Don't take it too seriously - I mean, he's ten. Give him fifteen years - that's when he'll realize that he followed in your footsteps.

ForestFire0 1

Friday 24 April 2009 5:56

Your response: "Well son, you don't have to worry. You're a very unique douche bag, all your own! Now go **** yourself, you spoiled little son of a bitch. OK kids, who wants to learn how to make fried Twinkies?" By the way, fried Twinkies are awesome (in moderation)

lorrain_fml 0

Friday 24 April 2009 7:20

throw a spatula in his eye.

Kaileigh 6

Friday 24 April 2009 7:39

I don't even know if you deserved that or if you life is just messed up. That was funny. You should have then slapped in the face with a hot griddle plate.

Pyrzqxgl 0

Friday 24 April 2009 8:02

What were_giraffe (#31) said. That ten-year-old, pig-eyed sack of shit was merely trying to look cool in front of his classmates. You didn't deserve that.