Love, Kids, Poopoo peepee, Relatable, Awkward and Dating: Stinker

Stinker

By taman - 12/09/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN!" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 934

You deserved it 5 354

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Same thing different taste

By Dafawk - 19/06/2016 20:54

Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 295

You deserved it 6 498

Denial

By Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater - 15/07/2016 20:27 - United States - Arlington

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 687

You deserved it 1 018

Tonight, on First Dates…

By dumper - 05/11/2009 06:41 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was, "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 221

You deserved it 5 589

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 961

You deserved it 7 915

Deal breaker

By frankie - 19/01/2009 01:01 - Canada

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner, we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it wouldn't flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 903

You deserved it 3 543

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 97

My body hates me

By HappilyNeverAfter - 18/09/2014 03:14 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 835

You deserved it 5 272

Industrial logs

By wow - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 527

You deserved it 36 928

By Anonymous - 08/06/2014 02:34 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 070

You deserved it 6 681

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 396

You deserved it 48 835

Hoofin 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 12:13

And this is why little kids should not be allowed in public

vendris 5

Saturday 12 September 2009 12:23

Oh no, you did something completely natural, **** your life indeed.

Comments

xSceneSceneBabyx 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 17:44

mercedeslove 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 18:00

Man I would have drop kicked the worth less shit clear into next month. He'd be the vegetable boy, as in he'd be in a coma the rest of his shitty life.

jonny2x4 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 18:25

Two things you need to do before a hot date: 1) take a dump 2) clean the pipes, if you know what I mean. BTW, was she hot? Maybe next time you can talk her into a Cleveland Steamer. Just a thought.

dirtbikeguy 14

Thursday 27 August 2015 5:08

he may want to consider the boston pancake to kill two birds with one stone

MysticCeltic 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 19:27

http://all-the-exgirlfriends.info/?uid=322

Ohnothingreally 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 19:41

LOLOLOL.

cheetahboo2010 5

Saturday 12 September 2009 22:37

Why would the kid know if you was taking a shit? Was he following you to the bathroom? If so, FYL.

bobby9101 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 22:59

Dude, take your dump BEFORE going on a date. #2, bid deal, it's not like she doesn't have to take a shit every now and then. She doesn't care

xYunqDrex 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 23:09

Lmfao shittyman . Smh the little kid must have been waiting for you to come out the stall to see who you were. Either way it goes your date has been ruin and you can thank a little kid for that. But that was your fault for not taking a shit before a date especially because its with a hot girl. i mean come on dude. You should have already learned as a little kid to use the facilities prior to leaving the house. Just because of that you are probably embarrassed, shitty, and single. FYL but YDI