Love, Kids, Poopoo peepee, Relatable, Awkward and Dating: Stinker

Stinker

By taman - 12/09/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN!" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 934

You deserved it 5 354

May weddings: Love and blunders
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Same thing different taste

By Dafawk - 19/06/2016 20:54

Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 295

You deserved it 6 498

Denial

By Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater - 15/07/2016 20:27 - United States - Arlington

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 687

You deserved it 1 018

Tonight, on First Dates…

By dumper - 05/11/2009 06:41 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was, "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 221

You deserved it 5 589

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 961

You deserved it 7 915

Deal breaker

By frankie - 19/01/2009 01:01 - Canada

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner, we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it wouldn't flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 903

You deserved it 3 543

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 97

My body hates me

By HappilyNeverAfter - 18/09/2014 03:14 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 835

You deserved it 5 272

Industrial logs

By wow - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 527

You deserved it 36 928

By Anonymous - 08/06/2014 02:34 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 070

You deserved it 6 681

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 396

You deserved it 48 835

Hoofin 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 12:13

And this is why little kids should not be allowed in public

vendris 5

Saturday 12 September 2009 12:23

Oh no, you did something completely natural, **** your life indeed.

Comments

thequickredofox 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 12:38

YDI for using the phrase "crushing on".

hothotheat_ 13

Saturday 12 September 2009 16:53

Atleast he didn't say 'the girl he was in love with.'

Candide_fml 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 23:50

Hahaha, thats the first thing I thought of when I read it.

thequickredofox 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 16:59

True, true. They equally gag worthy.

Synchestra_fml 2

Saturday 12 September 2009 12:38

I can totally imagine Jimmy Whichard from King of the Hill saying that =P

plexico 3

Saturday 12 September 2009 13:10

Many years ago, I had the same phrase yelled at me! It was at a Chinese restaurant and the guy bringing me my Pupu Platter was about to bring into the wrong table. Our waiter corrected him loudly from across the room with that exact same unfortunate phrase. Even though it was completely different, it had the same effect on my romantic date. For the rest of the week I had take-out from that place on their menu that featured Choked Chicken and Spanked Monkey.

ballisticks 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 14:01

I hate little kids, especially when they have blond pudding basin haircuts.

mattmag 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 21:46

I used to be one of those. Whenever I see pictures of myself as a child, I become enraged and begin to punch myself.

ballisticks 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 0:59

Yeah! As did I. My mam thinks it looks "cute", but it looks sickening. There's this picture of me at a family gathering, in the back garden, and all you can see of me is a blond pudding basin level with the table.

WTFpancakes 0

Monday 14 September 2009 0:19

HOLY SHET LMFAO!!!

chellinha93 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 14:26

Little kids like screwing with people, and how the hell did he know? Maybe you weren't exagerating with the word 'massive' lol.

anonacs 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 15:07

How would this random kid know you were taking a shit? Major bullshit, never happened. **** you for lying.

thequickredofox 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 15:58

Wild guess but maybe he'd been into the bathroom to do a wee, heard and/or smelled poopoo man and recognized his shoes. Kids notice shoes.

JimmyShoes 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 16:01

Maybe the child was in the restroom whilst this man was having his shit? And seen him when he got out of the cubicle? And then said it?

Jefe_fml 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 15:25

rofl, little kids rule.

thequickredofox 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 16:01

Stalkers. ... and it's you're lame.

flyboy57 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 16:34

what's a little boy doing at a fancy, expensive restaurant?

ohnoyouDINT 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 16:50

YDI for "crushing on", seriously, what are you, a 12-year-old girl?

guitardedman 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 17:36

dude how embarassing was it when your mommy came and picked you up....so many things make it impossible to sympathize with you, such as "girl ive been crushing on" , and the fact that you are too dumb to take a pre-game shit. always, always take a shit before you go to a party/date/social gathering because nobody likes or wants to be with "That Guy" who ***** at parties.