Sex, Contraception and Intimacy: Stay safe - FML

Stay safe

By notaslut - 08/01/2020 22:00 - United States - Greeley

Spicy

Today, I walked into my best friend's house and her mom threw a box of condoms at me and said, "Stay safe, slut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 744

You deserved it 632

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Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Houston

Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 891

You deserved it 334

By Anonymous - 24/12/2018 12:00

Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 688

You deserved it 492

Judgmental much!?

By Stairway2Heaven - 02/03/2009 21:03 - Canada

Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 650

You deserved it 19 443

Weird family

By Veronica - 29/12/2022 09:00 - United States - Allentown

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. His mom didn’t know much about it, and she walked in on us. After about 5 minutes she came back up, threw a box of condoms at us, says, "Continue" and walked out. We were still fucking while she was in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 2 021

By Person - 07/06/2009 18:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 627

You deserved it 9 937

By Joe - 19/10/2009 04:32 - Cambodia

Spicy

Today, whilst celebrating my birthday with my friends and family, I met a girl at the bar who seemed interested. She became very disinterested and left after my mother whispered in her ear "If you go home with my son make sure he wears a condom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 102

You deserved it 2 953

By killercow - 19/04/2011 16:19 - United States

Spicy

Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said, "You know you can't wash and reuse these?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 226

You deserved it 22 993

By bob - 05/02/2011 12:02 - United States

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 140

You deserved it 4 218

By rahrahcakes - 19/03/2012 07:36 - Australia - Brisbane

Spicy

Today, my mum cleaned my room. When I got home she yelled at me for having condoms. I'm 24 years old and in a long term relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 734

You deserved it 12 790

One day…

By Animal - 24/02/2011 19:14 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 276

You deserved it 17 098

Next

Top comments

Seeya55 31

Wednesday 8 January 2020 23:38

#thathappened

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 9 January 2020 8:41

Some people show love in a weird way.

Comments

Seeya55 31

Wednesday 8 January 2020 23:38

#thathappened

BurnInDemonFire 33

Thursday 9 January 2020 5:34

Coming up this week on "It's Always Sunny...", Mac reveals a past childhood trauma, Dennis doesn't use the story to bed 50 women, and Charlie doesn't sniff glue while eating cat food. Don't forget to tune in to also find out why no one calls Dee "Bird" and Frank doesn't pull a gun. All on this week's episode titled "Shit that didn't happen, but we tried to make a story out of it, anyway."

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 9 January 2020 8:41

Some people show love in a weird way.

DonULFonso 22

Thursday 9 January 2020 20:14

"Speaking with authority, aren't you?"

RatInc. 7

Friday 10 January 2020 1:00

Bad b*tch vibes

Jonkbaby 22

Sunday 12 January 2020 16:02

im very sorry. maybe shes going through menopause. which doesnt excuse her actions, but thats my guess

Keywords

Love Dreams Jealousy Gamers Geek Video games AITA Family Parents Kids Animals Relatable Gun control Money Amazon Annoying Birthday Cute Health Weird Awkward Abuse Social Media Scams Miscellaneous Friends Mysterious Education School Teenagers

The Top

Today, despite the fact that I'm happy and in love, my spiteful brat of a 12 year-old keeps spreading hateful and disgusting lies about my boyfriend doing unspeakable things while I'm away on business. Her dad told me he's reporting my boyfriend to the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 611

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 796

You deserved it 16 309

The Top

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 883

You deserved it 3 752

Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 306

You deserved it 2 244

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 014

You deserved it 8 830

Today, I was at lunch with my mom and we were talking about how to tell my brother that Santa Claus isn't real. After we finished our conversation, I heard someone crying. Little did I know, two little kids and their parents were sitting in the booth behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 996

You deserved it 36 072

Today, I reached my exam center late after taking the wrong metro twice, only to find out that I forgot my calculator at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 377

You deserved it 1 174

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. Right when I arrived, his little sister said, "She's a lot fatter than you said!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 202

You deserved it 4 963