Spooked

By fucking mafia or what?? - 12/01/2013 22:02 - United States - Marysville

Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 000
You deserved it 3 454
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Top comments

sniken 14

I doubt the dog did it all by herself...

106 4

Comments

SmoothSeth 10

Here is my theory: Some gosh darn kids, that roam the neighborhood, planted the famous "flaming paper bag with dog poop inside" prank many times on an innocent person. To get revenge, the innocent person found the darn kids who did it, and found the address to their house, only to miss the address getting the 2 confused with the 4, making your house the wrong house of right/wrong revenge. The only solution to this slightly humorous accident is death. Sorry.

48 5
AllieCat21 21

67 wouldn't both be counter productive?

7 1
SmoothSeth 10

This situation has no positive outcomes, we are dealing with poop here.

18 1
Yongchi 11

Really? No, I'm actually pretty sure everyone who read this FML thought that it would be a wonderful, happy and sweet experience. So thank you, Dr. Obvious.

5 12
N3766 20

I am thinking to say what a shitty situation... And by the way I am well prepared for the thumbs down...

12 51
Axipiter 24

I will admit, the fact that you say you're prepared for it made it SLIGHTLY less gratifying... No, no it really didn't. Why waste your time? Sheesh.

21 3
N3766 20

I was bored you know. Weekend, raining and windy......, anyway thanks for wasting your time telling me that...

3 26
sens3sfailing 24

Yeeeeah. Nobody cares that you were bored...

7 5
chunkalicious 7

To be fair, nobody really cares that nobody cares..

2 2
motor_fml 20

******* didn't even wrap your present? Maybe UPS will come by and steal it if you place it in a box.

32 4
Enslaved 36

I'm the man in the- box Buried in my- shit Won't you come and save me, save me ~Alice in Chains This is how my mind works with comments such as these. . . (:

18 4
Tuffay 14

34- sorry. Went for thumb up, but hit down by accident... I hope to do better next time!

2 11
buckdharma 36

You got evidence to preserve in case something else happens op.

7 3
AlexRen 21

Some crazy shit is about to go down.

3 13
TwinChapter 15

Since it's the wrong house, let's hope that the person who put it there doesn't make the same mistake twice. If you think about it, it is better than having actually been targeted because you pissed someone off.

11 1
zandalee 19

But then again, maybe they did actually piss someone off...

2 1
Enslaved 36

It was probably the bartender you stiffed out of a tip. She got your address by searching the name off your credit card. ;P

3 7
perdix 29

You most likely went into the express "10 items or less" lane with 54 items. If so, YDI! Here, we have an overpriced grocery store that uses the grammatically correct "10 Items or fewer."

17 5
Enslaved 36

Publix--"Where shopping is a Pleasure"? Damn H. E. B spoiled you, I see!

5 1
perdix 29

H-E-B and Krogers and Randall's and Fiesta and Foodarama and Whole Foods and Walmart and Target and Sam's and Costco and local one-offs, etc. With competition, you get good quality at low prices that you don't get where there's a monopoly with a brainwashing slogan.

7 2