Intimacy: Sexy moves - FML

Sexy moves

By what sex life? - 02/08/2016 06:26 - United States - Nashville

Spicy

Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 273

You deserved it 2 887

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Same thing different taste

Sick moves, dude

By Anonymous - 02/09/2009 09:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 387

You deserved it 4 229

By pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Spicy

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 010

You deserved it 6 798

By owl + bungee cord - 07/01/2014 20:38 - United States - Herndon

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 510

You deserved it 10 048

By Anonymous - 19/02/2013 08:35

Spicy

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 724

You deserved it 10 350

One nation, under rod

By LaLa - 20/09/2019 22:00

Spicy

Today, I was fooling around with my partner after his shower. He moved my hands up to push me against the wall. Instead of hitting the wall, my hands hit the shower rod. It fell on my face and I got a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 502

You deserved it 207

By hunchback of notre bite - 09/08/2013 22:23 - Korea, Republic of

Spicy

Today, I was in the shower with my boyfriend, and things started to get heated. That's where it all went to hell; I slipped and fell, bringing down with me the curtain and grooming products, and putting my back out. There goes my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 448

You deserved it 7 417

Another fine mess

By wow - 16/05/2019 00:05

Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 334

Tetchy

By ouch.... - 22/10/2013 01:24 - United States - Duxbury

Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 154

You deserved it 3 571

Steamy

By Hotdamn - 21/03/2016 04:32 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and steamy in the shower, until I slipped and fell backwards into the shower curtain, which caused me to hit the back of my head on the toilet seat, and the bar of the shower curtain to land on my throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 268

You deserved it 3 174

Wrong sort of poking

By Anonymous - 22/09/2013 05:40 - United States - Brandon

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 188

You deserved it 9 737

Next

Top comments

Tripartita 44

Tuesday 2 August 2016 16:27

"HAHAHA! Oh, shiii—" *slips* "Honey, quick, grab on to my toenail!" "Sounds logical to me. Here I goooo!"

pjsr 32

Tuesday 2 August 2016 15:51

Kids these days! He's supposed to scrub your loofa with his knob.

Comments

bruce_leroy 7

Wednesday 3 August 2016 0:37

Who does that with a loofa?!?! Use your hand or most if you want to be taken seriously!

blairiofosterio1 10

Wednesday 3 August 2016 0:38

At least you still got nailed

alexhahn 5

Friday 5 August 2016 8:06

hahaha ah puns

TheSoullessJew 8

Wednesday 3 August 2016 11:27

Please elaborate on the toenail part.

ladycate 7

Wednesday 3 August 2016 15:16

Sexy time...I think you're doing it wrong!

alexhahn 5

Friday 5 August 2016 8:05

why did you have a vegetable in the shower(loofah is the thing you're looking for)

ardea_alba 8

Monday 8 August 2016 23:52

Damn you, Cosmo!

Keywords

Work Management Awkward Friends Miscellaneous Healthy Lifestyle Health Relatable Mother in law Gifts Birthday Family Money Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Love AITA Argument Fear Insects Skincare Cats Job interview Jealousy Gross

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Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

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Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs and the next seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 709

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You deserved it 7 425

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I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 68

Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

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You deserved it 714