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FML - The follow-up

Today, I was talking with my girlfriend. We both have family issues, so we'd agreed to open up to each other today. Turns out I'm dating my cousin. FML

meltingturtle Say more :
OP here. Here's your follow up. My mom and her brother had a rocky relationship. She moved to the west coast some twenty years ago, and never talks about my uncle. I know of him, but never met him due to problems between them. I moved out of state for college, and met my girlfriend there. I'd only been told I had a cousin once, pretty much in passing. My gf and I were both talking, and she mentioned how her dad, named David, was bipolar and had several issues. I asked if she had any aunts or an
By meltingturtle / Tuesday 2 August 2016 03:25 /
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Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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She likely didn't know, my guess is that one of them described crazy uncle Charlie, then the other described Grandma Maureen, and the realization started dawning on both of them...

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  ThatOneChick856

It's likely that they are distant cousins and, as said before, didn't intend to become close with each other's immediate families- especially if the relationship is fresh.

Seeing as how you didn't know you were cousins beforehand, I would assume you're distant cousins, or at least have a bit of generational gap in the family tree. Depending on how distant your familial association is, it's not all bad. Even the most famous of people have dated/married their cousins. If your cousin is in fact, your aunt/uncle's child, I hope you didn't fuck your cousin.

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As noted elsewhere, it's legal to marry your 1st cousin in almost 40% of states in the US. It wouldn't be that uncommon for them to be together, especially if they didn't know each other growing up. Studies have shown than most children who grow up together (even if they're unrelated) aren't as likely to be attracted to one another in adulthood (the theory is that we evolved in that manner to avoid a limited gene pool). If the OP is trans and children aren't going to be an issue and they didn't

Just because your family is like that, doesn't mean everyone's is. Maybe OP's parents and his girlfriend's parents had some drama and they'd never introduced their kids

I honestly wouldn't let it make a difference in my relationship at this point, if you love each other and you've been together a while then just carry on as you were... Edit- Perhaps adopt if it comes to that

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actually I've researched a bit and having a kid with your cousins doesn't really add much risk at all, you can go from like 10% to 11% of birth defect or something like that, it's really accepted in our society but, according to genetics, it's not really important, it doesn't really matter much.

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Yeah, I think it's also a way bigger deal if you have a relationship between a parent and child or brother and sister. Since cousins only have half your genetic make up, it's not such a big deal. Also, is your uncle a half brother perhaps? If that's the case you're even more distantly related.

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