Kids, Parents and Love: Pleasant

Pleasant

By daddydaughterWTF - 02/08/2012 00:06 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 586

You deserved it 2 637

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/06/2011 14:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 999

You deserved it 3 071

By Anon - 04/08/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 035

You deserved it 4 124

By brigitte - 27/06/2013 17:35 - France - Noyon

Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 303

You deserved it 3 104

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 22:28 - United Kingdom

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 016

You deserved it 3 458

By Dan223 - 01/10/2015 13:26 - United States

Today, I saw my dad for the first time in almost five years, at his funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 583

You deserved it 3 729

By squirts - 27/11/2013 04:42

Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 207

You deserved it 5 322

By poopEVERYWHERE - 18/09/2009 14:27 - United States

Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 957

You deserved it 4 333

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 960

You deserved it 7 914

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 285

You deserved it 7 523

That was quick

By dumbdad - 08/09/2010 00:25 - United States

Today, my estranged dad drunk-dialed me at 4 a.m. to apologize, and to make amends. After crying and forgiving, we hung up. Minutes later, he called back to retract everything he said after remembering how I was rude to him at a party 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 663

You deserved it 3 280

gabrayal 10

Thursday 2 August 2012 9:38

When you gotta go, you gotta go.

OhDearBetrayal 25

Thursday 2 August 2012 9:37

He sounds like a lovely father.

Comments

fbear10 5

Thursday 2 August 2012 9:46

Well,there's 5 years worth of contacting :) LOL:)

cicpjaky 6

Thursday 2 August 2012 9:48

When nature is calling you have to act fast because nature will not wait for you to make a decision wither you will answer or not. He choose to answer that call

Roevera 14

Thursday 2 August 2012 10:32

Dafuq did I just read?

erinnrose 9

Thursday 2 August 2012 9:51

Aw how emotional

rcgirl2 11

Thursday 2 August 2012 9:52

Well I'm sure that he'll talk to you and hug you. But right now he has to go to the bathroom. And there's no telling if it's going to be bad or not.

Sumalum 7

Thursday 2 August 2012 10:03

Five years? Didn't you get the hint?

patrickalamo 47

Thursday 2 August 2012 13:25

And 5 more till the next visit

fernclogger 5

Thursday 2 August 2012 10:09

Reminds me of a bumper sticker I read "I'm only driving fast because I have to poop"

MCRaddict15 15

Thursday 2 August 2012 10:13

I'm pretty sure the cops would have a laugh at that one.

geocayce 7

Thursday 2 August 2012 10:21

Oh man. I'm sorry OP. I'm sure you were really looking forward to meeting your father and I bet that's definitely not the greeting you were hoping for. He can't control when his stomach is going to act up, but he could've at least hugged you back. I hate to say it, but maybe there's a reason behind his being estranged. Either way, I hope that wasn't a sign as to how your visit will be and that it bears reconnection and a lot of time spent bonding and getting to learn about and get to know each other. Good luck, OP!