Love, Embarrassing and Awkward: Old dog, new tricks

Old dog, new tricks

By Anonymous - 06/09/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 909

You deserved it 46 991

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Same thing different taste

Dead giveaway

By Minabee - 04/02/2010 18:28 - United States

Today, I'm meeting my boyfriend's very conservative parents for the first time, so I decided to dress appropriately and curl my hair to match. In doing so, I accidentally touched my neck with the iron, and I now have a burn there that look a lot like a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 983

You deserved it 4 898

By tkrause - 01/04/2013 17:17 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 432

You deserved it 4 158

By Anonymous - 24/09/2012 19:09 - United States

Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 889

You deserved it 2 675

Purple rain, purple rain

By wtf?! - 30/05/2020 05:00

Today, out of boredom, I decided to dye my hair. I clumsily spilled some of the purple dye on my chest and shoulders. My insane mother is convinced the marks are hickeys I got from sneaking out and having sex with a boyfriend I don’t even have. She won’t listen, and I’m grounded for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 734

You deserved it 286

By Neckbruise101 - 15/10/2016 06:01 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss berated me in front of 2 other coworkers about how unprofessional it was for me to show up to work with a clearly visible hickey. I had to explain to him that my "hickey" was actually a huge pimple that had bruised up after I popped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 636

You deserved it 868

By sexxibxmami - 19/02/2010 18:24 - United States

Today, my mom came over to visit and permed my hair. Ten minutes after she started, I told her it was burning. She told me to suck it up because it doesn't hurt that badly. I now have scabs all over my scalp, hairline, and nape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 074

You deserved it 3 721

The truth will set you free

By Imnotfromhere - 29/08/2021 23:01

Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 1 019

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 471

You deserved it 9 606

By anonymous - 04/10/2017 20:51

Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 482

You deserved it 425

By Pierced - 30/05/2017 18:00

Today, my mother accused me of getting another lip piercing done on the sly to spite her. She finally realised I have more than one and won't believe I've always had two. Thanks for noticing, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 105

You deserved it 430

DeathByFalchion 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:34

Not THAT big of a deal if it happened to your mom too.

mhmmhmgood 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:34

haa, ive used that one too

Comments

SMBroskie 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 0:32

I burnt your mother with a hair straightener.

molitov 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 2:29

not an FML.. ure mom is cool with it obviously

ShakeZula7 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 10:09

And you care, why?

Supeer_ninja 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 22:56

dont worry, the same thing happened to me lmao

Daddys_Defect 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 0:49

Yup, ive used that excuse before. But by now no one even says anything to me anymore.

plo_koon 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 5:49

not an FML.

lulujay 0

Friday 30 October 2009 20:45

lol same thing happened to me but my mom bought it and just gave me something to put on it so it wouldn't scar lol

MissSmiley613 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 7:40

thats a good one!!! ill use that next time;)

mariahrawks 0

Wednesday 28 April 2010 4:42

i'm watching the george lopez episode where carmen gets a hickey. :)

FreakingFYou 13

Monday 3 January 2011 7:04

so why is she mad?

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes, a huge fly flew straight into my mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 653

You deserved it 4 934

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 638

You deserved it 19 265

The Top

Today, my boyfriend of three years broke up with me and blocked me everywhere, after I moved to another country to be with him… and then found out he was married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 125

Today, my dad joked he’d have to fight my boyfriend to find out if he’s worthy. My boyfriend grew up abused by his dad and older brothers, and has a powerful instinct to fight back. My dad is now out cold on the floor and my boyfriend is in the corner rocking back and forth and crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242

You deserved it 149

Today, my brother was asking why I'm mad at him. Not a big deal, if we and our friends weren't now banned from a pub, all because he got shitfaced, started smoking weed and stripping off in public, even though marijuana wasn't allowed at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 90

Today, my girlfriend left me. I have no clue what to do with the holiday we have booked or the ring I was going to propose to her with on Valentine's Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 163

You deserved it 648

Today, I was cuddling with the girl I've been seeing for the past few months. She was saying how much she liked me and how much I meant to her. Reciprocating those feelings, I asked her to be my girlfriend. It was a HARD no for her. Then she drove me an hour and a half home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 256

You deserved it 296

Today, I still can't poop unless I hear the sound of the bathroom fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 792

You deserved it 1 407