Intimacy and LGBTQi: Not a cheating!

Not a cheating!

By Notcheating - 03/12/2019 18:00

Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 238

You deserved it 485

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Same thing different taste

By fml - 22/06/2009 09:03 - United States

Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 430

You deserved it 5 473

By madfather - 23/02/2009 01:38 - United States

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 122

You deserved it 72 608

Prank war W

By Anonymous - 20/08/2014 21:03 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 297

You deserved it 9 904

Good catch

By Anonymous - 17/03/2011 23:52 - United States

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said, "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 562

You deserved it 90 878

By costcocondoms - 23/07/2009 05:23 - Mexico

Today, I was shopping at Costco for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner, and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me, I heard somebody say, "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 958

You deserved it 9 623

By Oops - 24/10/2009 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 938

You deserved it 6 813

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Houston

Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 891

You deserved it 334

By Anonymous - 22/05/2009 08:18 - Australia

Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 813

You deserved it 3 839

By Person - 07/06/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 627

You deserved it 9 937

By accident - 14/02/2014 22:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 046

You deserved it 5 821

juggalo2 20

Tuesday 3 December 2019 19:17

Easy. Just tell him his daughter knows all about it, and if he wants to know more about his daughter's sex life then ask her. Tell him to butt out of your sex life.

manb91gb 15

Tuesday 3 December 2019 18:48

Uhh... Be an adult and tell him... Or better yet, get HER to explain. It's her Dad after all...

Comments

manb91gb 15

Tuesday 3 December 2019 18:48

Uhh... Be an adult and tell him... Or better yet, get HER to explain. It's her Dad after all...

juggalo2 20

Tuesday 3 December 2019 19:17

Easy. Just tell him his daughter knows all about it, and if he wants to know more about his daughter's sex life then ask her. Tell him to butt out of your sex life.

julfunky 29

Wednesday 4 December 2019 23:22

You say that as if he was out of line. He had a decent reason to be suspicious. I would HOPE my father would at the very least let me know if he had suspicions of my partner cheating. It has nothing to do with his daughter’s sex life and everything to do with making sure she isn’t being betrayed by her girlfriend. If he thought his daughter knew I can guarantee he wouldn’t be asking questions. He doesn’t want to know about her sex life.

Charlie Given 26

Tuesday 3 December 2019 22:31

Or go get a glass ***** there hypoallergenic

BurnInDemonFire 33

Wednesday 4 December 2019 1:47

So buy a different *****. Much cheaper in the long run than buying condoms every so often.

dipshizz 3

Saturday 14 December 2019 19:07

Can't you just like buy a new *****?

coius 23

Sunday 15 December 2019 18:15

Tell him you have a dick andcanstill get her pregnant. Troll his ass (kudos if you accidently send a ‘doctored’ selfie with a ‘shopped dick added to make it look like you are a hermaphrodite. No need to remove shirt and put blur across your face so he cant try post smearing you online.