Health, Relatable and Awkward: No thanks

No thanks

By Anonymous - 30/07/2019 22:00

Today, I got to a patient having a seizure and was approached by a bystander who said to me, "I have pharmaceutical grade essential oils, and they recommend Frankincense for seizures." Thank you? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 765

You deserved it 126

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Same thing different taste

By seizuregirl17 - 19/11/2013 15:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I had a seizure in class. Being an epileptic, I had warned my professor of the possibility that I could have one in class. She was understanding and seemed very concerned about my issue at the time. After I had the seizure, however, she asked me if I had ever tried exorcism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 506

You deserved it 2 879

By Robert - 01/01/2018 19:00

Today, I finally got medication to deal with my seizures. I've had them since I was 5, but my mother had always believed I was faking it. When I seized during a basketball game, she actually came onto the court and lectured the referee for "humoring" me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 979

You deserved it 319

Alternative medicine is bull

By Anonymous - 13/10/2020 23:01

Today, when my neighbor came over to ask about a serious rash her child had, she totally passed by me, the EMT/firefighter, to ask the hippy pastry chef what she thought of it, and if she had oils to "cure" it. So much for my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 205

420 BLAZE IT BRO!!!

By nurse4life - 18/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Moultrie

Today, a patient at the hospital where I work asked me if he and his son could light up a joint. He was on oxygen, and serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 853

You deserved it 494

By xxccruzxx - 29/06/2012 13:30 - United States

Today, at work, my phone kept crashing. Without thinking, I announced that it was having a seizure. Who did I announce this to? My boss. Who also happens to have epilepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 163

You deserved it 29 846

By Anonymous - 19/10/2014 14:24 - Canada - Bridgewater

Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 686

You deserved it 43 224

Occam's razor

By Anonymous - 23/05/2023 15:00

Today, I had a seizure, and as they were loading me into the ambulance, drooling on myself, I clearly heard my mother ask the ambulance crew if they’d mind swinging by the church on the way to the hospital, you know, in case it turns out I’m not sick, just possessed by the devil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 88

By Whoopsie - 25/07/2018 05:00

Today, I had to call 911 and explain to the operator that my girlfriend orgasmed so hard she had a seizure and passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 344

You deserved it 579

By catty_13 - 07/10/2017 04:30

Today, thanks to my estranged husband, I had three seizures at work. I came home yesterday to find that my seizure medications were completely gone. He'd flushed them down the toilet because he thinks I'm psychotic and "read on the internet" that it's because of the meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 112

You deserved it 272

By EpicFailAtItsFinest - 13/04/2009 02:49 - United States

Today, I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a seizure. Nervous, I went into shock and walked into a tree, knocking myself out. Post seizure, the woman stood up and walked away. Later, I woke up in the hospital. The ambulance had arrived to take her, but ended up taking me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 504

You deserved it 19 518

evilplatypus 38

Tuesday 30 July 2019 22:55

I’d recommend that person not breed

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 30 July 2019 23:00

You could have one-upped the bystander if you were able to give the patient some myrrh!

Comments

evilplatypus 38

Tuesday 30 July 2019 22:55

I’d recommend that person not breed

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 30 July 2019 23:00

You could have one-upped the bystander if you were able to give the patient some myrrh!

BurnInDemonFire 33

Tuesday 30 July 2019 23:11

I hope you helped the seizing person, then shoved the Frankincense down the bystander's throat.

raven_of_azarath 34

Wednesday 31 July 2019 8:31

I see how essential oils help aromatheraputically and like bug bites, but I don’t get how people think they help with seizures or cure cancer.

Susan Yee 9

Wednesday 31 July 2019 23:57

Bet he/she is anti-vaxx.

Stan_The_Man 7

Thursday 1 August 2019 0:14

Should have asked him if there is an essential oil to cure dumbass

Gubbon 17

Thursday 1 August 2019 11:56

Do you live in an Elder Scrolls world?

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Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 488

You deserved it 183 654

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 683

You deserved it 7 123

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 47 000

You deserved it 16 601

Today, an old lady rear ended my car the light. Her explanation was, "It's a new car, and when I take my foot off the break, it just rolls forward all on its own! I don't know what's wrong with it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 755

You deserved it 101

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

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You deserved it 15 190

Today, it was the marathon. My girlfriend, has a unique name spelling, ran and I cheered and passed her supplies at two different mile markers. I then noticed a guy I’d never met who had signs with her name at the same mile markers. She was too lazy to split up both her boyfriend’s mile markers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 84

Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 360

You deserved it 2 722

Today, I couldn't fall asleep till 3am and was woken approximately every hour or so. Why? I found out my new upstairs neighbors have a very active love life. She's a screamer. FML

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You deserved it 3 302