Sex and Intimacy: Nice try, chief

Nice try, chief

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 965

You deserved it 15 167

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Same thing different taste

The best method!

By Anonymous - 04/01/2020 18:00

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 967

You deserved it 946

By Anonymous - 19/04/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 670

You deserved it 9 729

By what the fuck - 07/06/2013 21:20 - United Kingdom - Northolt

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 801

You deserved it 9 989

By Anonymous - 23/02/2013 18:27 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 293

You deserved it 48 549

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 11:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 671

You deserved it 13 287

By Picaresque - 26/02/2009 17:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285 866

You deserved it 68 137

Sounds more like a fetish…

By Jordan - 08/04/2012 10:37 - Australia - Wahroonga

Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 414

You deserved it 3 571

By anonymous - 13/11/2015 00:00 - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 291

You deserved it 3 942

Non sequitur

By lisacasabonita - 12/11/2010 16:31 - United States

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 202

You deserved it 42 475

By fuckered519 - 06/12/2014 19:53 - United States - Du Quoin

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 226

You deserved it 12 603

Mirorbo 26

Monday 4 April 2011 9:17

That's when you whip out a sex toy and tell him "You first"!~

Joeyc524 0

Monday 4 April 2011 9:16

Hahahha that's mad funny

Comments

The_Creeper_fml 8

Monday 4 April 2011 9:52

When in doubt: Anal

s10biker 1

Monday 4 April 2011 9:54

your boyfriend has a very valid point! go for it. you might like it

atari83man 0

Friday 24 June 2011 5:05

its true! anal isn't all that bad!!!

samicna 4

Monday 4 April 2011 9:59

marry him

javmuniz87 0

Monday 4 April 2011 10:02

he's a keeper

Viciousvixen_21 0

Monday 4 April 2011 10:01

Poopy dick

nato556 4

Monday 4 April 2011 11:18

Not if a condom is used

j_cat187 19

Monday 4 April 2011 22:06

explosive oilspill

JoshForever 0

Monday 4 April 2011 10:16

lmfao!

tahvoh 3

Monday 4 April 2011 10:22

hahaha!! WIN

MuffyStJacques 0

Monday 4 April 2011 10:26

How is that a bad thing? Sounds like my kind of man.

Jimster1712 0

Monday 4 April 2011 10:37

rofl!!!

unsuccesfulmastu 4

Monday 4 April 2011 10:48

I'm pretty damn sure anal is the answer to even the most difficult problems

VDB_3 0

Monday 4 April 2011 11:00

"You never go ass to mouth."

dandie_1121 0

Monday 4 April 2011 14:35

lmao i love that movie!

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 689

You deserved it 142

Today, I was uninvited from every family event henceforth, because I finally had it and told my sister that I can’t stand to be around her horribly misbehaved kids. They have screaming meltdown tantrums, throw and break things, start fights and steal. How am I the bad guy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 164

You deserved it 275

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. Turns out his dad is the asshole customer that I complain about all the time. He recognized me too and spent the entire dinner making passive-aggressive remarks about how bad of an employee I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 367

You deserved it 2 910

Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 467

You deserved it 5 311

Today, a deer hit my car. I stopped to check on it, expecting it to be dead in the road or a ditch. The fucker was staring at me from the top of the hill and pranced off just fine. I get $800 in front-end damage and I'm still finding hair and fecal matter on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 041

You deserved it 726

Today, I realized while paying bills on my phone I fat-fingered which credit card I was paying and sent 299 to a paid-off card instead of 200 to another one. Now I'm going to have overdraft fees too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 437