Parents, Dad jokes, Argument and Kids: Mystery

Mystery

By Waheyyy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 602

You deserved it 8 212

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By confsused - 16/12/2013 17:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 941

You deserved it 3 372

He's got game

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 584

You deserved it 6 170

Sneaky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Owen Sound

Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 997

You deserved it 5 051

By bbbeast - 28/07/2009 02:42 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 979

You deserved it 136 247

Slippery when wet

By blewidstepr - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 881

You deserved it 6 519

Foreshadowing

By JB. - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Somerset

Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 970

You deserved it 5 070

Yada yada yade

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 037

You deserved it 33 781

Devious

By rachel - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Germany - Köln

Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 995

You deserved it 3 901

Trauma for life

By he's still not convinced - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while visiting my mother, she asked my son who his favorite parent was. As a growing boy, he chose his father. I don't mind, except she then asked, "So, whose side are you taking in the divorce?" My husband and I have no marital issues. My son refuses to believe us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 908

You deserved it 3 620

Very funny, Mom

By ThanksMa - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way, my mother said, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then said, "Does he know that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 096

You deserved it 14 552

Anonanimal 0

Monday 7 September 2009 23:05

he's just trying to bug you. you wouldn't believe the things my parents have said to me in arguements xD

Suckylicious 0

Monday 7 September 2009 23:06

my dad says im adopted all the time. i think im his kid. i just dont care that much!

Comments

T_X_P 2

Monday 7 September 2009 23:29

Option 1: You were wrong and got pwned. Option 2: You were right and got pwned by a geriatric. Either way your life sucks.

kacie13 1

Monday 7 September 2009 23:30

that was so mean of him to say. i'm sorry :(

GracefulDemoniac 0

Monday 7 September 2009 23:36

Hey, look at it this way. He was probably only trying to make a witty comeback. If it is the truth, then it shouldn't matter anymore. You've come this far in life knowing him as your father, biological or not, it shouldn't change anything. I am pretty sure that if it were the truth, he wouldn't spill it like that. Then again...I don't know him.

zachherbert 10

Friday 12 August 2011 7:30

I went fourteen years thinking someone else was my biological father. I dont care, I still see him as my dad. I totally agree with your comment.

VampiressMiharu 0

Monday 7 September 2009 23:46

What the hell happened to FML while I was gone?! Trolls and idiots everywhere

Bloodknight 22

Monday 7 September 2009 23:49

awe, you'd a bastard!

waterynuggets 0

Monday 7 September 2009 23:57

Because this site sux now.

Starchild21 3

Tuesday 8 September 2009 0:06

Hey look at my fingers. See this. It's the world's smallest ******* violin playing the saddest ******* tune. Losers, stay off the site if you don't like it.

waterynuggets 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 0:56

Hey tuff guy cum say eet 2 mai face!!!1 ill troll roll all over uuuuu

Egotistical 0

Monday 7 September 2009 23:58

Dad=Win

v1kt4r 13

Monday 7 September 2009 23:59

whether he was joking or not is a story for another day, what we do know is u wont be calling him or "your mom" names anytime soon

powersmoke 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 0:06

BURN!

Daaniellee1234 8

Tuesday 8 September 2009 0:09

your point?

Synistiel 14

Sunday 5 August 2012 0:28

How DON'T you understand the point of this? He isn't sure whether or not his father is serious about his comeback, so he isn't sure if that's his real father. Get it now?