Parents, Dad jokes, Argument and Kids: Mystery

Mystery

By Waheyyy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 602

You deserved it 8 212

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Same thing different taste

By confsused - 16/12/2013 17:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 941

You deserved it 3 372

He's got game

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 584

You deserved it 6 170

Sneaky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Owen Sound

Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 997

You deserved it 5 051

By bbbeast - 28/07/2009 02:42 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 979

You deserved it 136 247

Slippery when wet

By blewidstepr - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 881

You deserved it 6 519

Foreshadowing

By JB. - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Somerset

Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 970

You deserved it 5 070

Yada yada yade

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 037

You deserved it 33 781

Devious

By rachel - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Germany - Köln

Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 995

You deserved it 3 901

Trauma for life

By he's still not convinced - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while visiting my mother, she asked my son who his favorite parent was. As a growing boy, he chose his father. I don't mind, except she then asked, "So, whose side are you taking in the divorce?" My husband and I have no marital issues. My son refuses to believe us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 908

You deserved it 3 620

Very funny, Mom

By ThanksMa - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way, my mother said, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then said, "Does he know that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 096

You deserved it 14 552

Anonanimal 0

Monday 7 September 2009 23:05

he's just trying to bug you. you wouldn't believe the things my parents have said to me in arguements xD

Suckylicious 0

Monday 7 September 2009 23:06

my dad says im adopted all the time. i think im his kid. i just dont care that much!

Comments

Stpatch754 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 20:13

omg!! tht is genius, when i hav kids i am so using that against them, i admire your dad/fake dad!

element01 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 18:30

Thats pretty funny. I will be doing that to my kid one day.

elchapin562 0

Friday 11 September 2009 4:49

your dad's funny, i would crack up if my dad told me that haha

El_loco1988 0

Monday 14 September 2009 17:24

That sucks dude ur pops is ******

memeweaver 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 15:46

Ok...Now that was funny, I don't care who you are.

Makaloraii 0

Thursday 5 November 2009 21:21

Instead of 'geriatric fool', you should have said 'senile *****'.

terriibabiiix23 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 3:09

first of all, what the hell is a geriatric fool ? second, that wasn't really cool of your dad to say thatt..

BinkyMom 0

Monday 8 February 2010 3:28

Sad, but hilarious...

zimbry 0

Friday 13 August 2010 4:52

sucks fer you op.

TheZarola 10

Wednesday 29 September 2010 22:45

YDI for disrespecting your father like that.

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The Top

Today, it was my second day of house-sitting. I was so out of my mind from not seeing people that I invited a bunch of friends over for dinner. I said I would pay for pizza and we could all hang out in the house. Even with an unsupervised house and free food, no one showed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 949

You deserved it 396

Today, my wife has moved into the guest room and has been giving me the cold shoulder ever since I asked for a paternity test for our kids. She swears she’s never cheated, so what’s she so offended for? Women make no sense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 1 494

The Top

Today, I called my mum, crying because of my low self-esteem. She interrupted my sobs by saying, "Can I hang up now? The phone's getting hot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 104

You deserved it 6 047

Today, I found a video of a school play I starred in years ago. I was ecstatic, because it's really the only memento of my childhood I have left. Unfortunately, it started with my grandpa groaning, "Ahh shit," and degenerated into him muttering over the audio about "those fucking commies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 174

You deserved it 2 014

Today, I just found out that my first-ever boyfriend has been cheating on me for our whole entire relationship. All my fake friends knew about the her, but they just "forgot to tell me". FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 88

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 213

You deserved it 24 811

Today, my nephews discovered how to trick my washing machine into starting up while the door is still open. My laundry room is now flooded, and their mom refuses to accept any responsibility for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 907

You deserved it 3 877

Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple minutes in, I feel a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs being told that 'everyone wets themselves sometimes'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 456

You deserved it 2 712

Same thing different taste

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