My ears!

By ANONYMOUS -_- - 15/12/2013 17:18 - United States - Providence

Spicy
Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 955
You deserved it 3 551
May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

Nyx_fml 23

*sees location* Maybe this person was trying to choke it to death in order to make some Kentucky Fried ****.

148 18
Rainhawk94 27

Maybe he should loosen his grip on his right hand next time

100 1

Comments

incoherentrmblr 21

Sounds like the Griswold men are reflecting on their sexual encounters...

1 6
Nyx_fml 23

*sees location* Maybe this person was trying to choke it to death in order to make some Kentucky Fried ****.

148 18
Lomus 24

That was terrible. I get it, but it's terrible.

11 30
friedpwnadge 25

I think that Frank Purdue might have more experience choking cocks than many of us do.

11 4
Gingerette 8

At the stake of getting downvoted, I just want to say I don't understand what any of the above comments mean.

9 0
Adm_Twigs 19

I'd fit right in! you could learn alot from these guys!

11 47
BntyHntrSeattle 30

A lot about what NOT to say if said guy wants to settle down, nam'sayin'?

61 5
synsam 4

ya I'm with you. that group sounds like the type of guys you could have a beer and watch the game with. they also sound like the type that won't run away when you get caught in a fight...

5 3
i_wuz_nver_here 31

Well it's his fault for being ambiguous with his instructions

78 5
MichellinMan 20

The South at its finest.

17 51
ElementaryEdGuy 18

Kentucky's not even a Southern state. It's part of the Appalachian Highlands. It didn't even secede in the Civil War.

20 4
MichellinMan 20

^ Just for your information, I wrongly assumed it was indeed the South simply because of the way that sentence was put together and the fact that they're talking about handjobs openly. Yes, it was a stupid joke, and it was pretty rude. I aplogize for my ignorance.

24 5
fucMyLifeSoHard 18

33- Well, thanks for assuming that everyone from the south is a stupid redneck that only talks about botched handjobs and the such. You show such intelligence.

21 8
CallMeMcFeelii 13

I don't know about you guys, but every time I think of the South, "haggard hand job", is the first thought that comes to mind. It's common knowledge that all those beautiful Southern bells are horrible at the art of the infamous hand job. Now blow jobs, well let's just say that accent of theirs must really work out their tongue muscles..

10 9
kitcatjb 12

I'm from wisconsin and we talk about bad handjobs all the time. It's not only a southern thing.

7 1
CallMeMcFeelii 13

I was definitely joking, haha. Bad hand jobs are an epidemic that sweeps the entire globe. I'm quite surprised anyone would take my comment literally. I'm from Pennsylvania. The callused hands belonging to those cute Amish gals certainly aren't a treat for my "heavenly wood". Haha..

12 3
RedPillSucks 31

What? People up north don't give handjobs? Because... Because their hands are too damn cold? I guess either a good ********, or a hand job with an oven mitt fresh from the dryer is more their speed?

0 1
67FML 5

Sounds like his life might suck more than yours---depending on what damage all that choking caused.....

41 2
cheernomore15 14

hiding in estrogen and wearing aubergine dreams?

27 3
RandomHavoc1 13

i love you for the patd reference.

3 10
The_Tenth_Doctor 14

Such a nice conversation.

7 15