Intimacy: Kinda sus

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 21:31 - United Kingdom - Watford

Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 343

You deserved it 9 762

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Same thing different taste

By gummy - 03/05/2019 16:00

Today, despite asking her to stop countless times, my stepmom still barges into my room explosively and without warning. I faint when startled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 169

You deserved it 178

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

By Anonymous - 06/09/2019 20:03

Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 492

You deserved it 169

By Rob - 07/11/2018 03:00

Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 841

You deserved it 379

By pasha - 16/05/2015 00:51 - Canada - Beamsville

Today, my overly-clean mum decided to drop by and surprise me by cleaning my house while I was out jogging. She used half a bottle of bleach, and now it hurts to blink, let alone breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 142

You deserved it 2 855

By Anonymous - 10/05/2013 19:28 - United States - Warren

Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 656

You deserved it 6 452

Thanks dad

By Anonymous - 19/09/2013 17:32 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 874

You deserved it 3 323

Jumpy

By bunny - 12/10/2022 12:00

Today, as always, my mom slams every door she closes. I faint when I hear loud sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 184

Mum

By mummer11 - 15/11/2013 17:49 - Ireland

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred, "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 019

You deserved it 3 128

Stand up for yourself

By eff that asshole! - 26/06/2022 00:01

Today, I overheard my mom’s boyfriend viciously berating and verbally abusing her. I got in his face and started yelling that he can’t talk to her that way. He stormed out and we haven’t heard from him since. Now my mom is pissed and wants to kick me out for “ruining” her relationship. Sorry I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 553

You deserved it 108

By Anonymous - 01/11/2010 15:00 - Australia

Today, I had to explain to my mother that it's inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 251

You deserved it 2 696

MzZombicidal 36

Sunday 26 October 2014 8:29

You should never EVER just walk right into your parents room. >.< The reason why you did it is sweet, though. You're a good son. :)

mcleod 17

Sunday 26 October 2014 8:28

Always knock!

Comments

jlmontgomery 11

Sunday 26 October 2014 16:13

And this is why I always lock my bedroom door.

Mindset 11

Sunday 26 October 2014 17:12

My prayers will go out to you

oJoy 11

Sunday 26 October 2014 17:14

haha I've walked in on my parents years ago. it's still scary to think about even after 10 years -_- I feel your pain

SkullduggeryCain 11

Sunday 26 October 2014 18:36

THE EXACT SAME FREAKING THING happened to me last year....

stacey2570 21

Sunday 26 October 2014 18:55

I walked in on my parents some 30 plus years ago. Lol you never ever unsee that! !

lazyslumber 18

Sunday 26 October 2014 19:08

This is why I prefer soundproofing

IWishIWasObama 12

Sunday 26 October 2014 19:12

ydi! you just automatically assume it was domestic violence

TheLadyOpal 30

Sunday 26 October 2014 21:16

Better to mistake wild sex for domestic violence than the other way around.

rushalm 7

Sunday 26 October 2014 19:45

Well look at the bright side.. You got the rest of your life ruined.. I'm sure you won't be able to imagine them dressed even at the dining table!:P

grovetuckey 2

Sunday 26 October 2014 20:04

there's a sub redit for that

Frostillicus123 10

Sunday 26 October 2014 22:55

all I can say is dude

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The Top

Today, and for weeks now, I was sure my underwear was going missing. I found out why. My husband's brother has been stealing them whenever he visits, presumably to masturbate with. I literally caught him shoving an unwashed pair into his pocket he'd stolen from my laundry pile. Creep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 63

Today, I found out I have syphilis. I only slept with one person in my entire life, my boyfriend of 2 years. When I told him about it, he burst into tears and said, "It was one time at a company party" and "Maybe if you put some Vagisil or something, it will go away." Seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 941

You deserved it 137

The Top

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 134

You deserved it 36 890

Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 426

You deserved it 25 819

Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street, about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 855

You deserved it 3 022

Today, my friend was complaining about how she did not like Mexican food. Confused, I asked her whether she had even had Mexican food, to which she replied, “Yeah, I mean I’ve had Taco Bell.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 135

You deserved it 256

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to drink several shots of vodka after taking a pill that makes you sick when you drink. She puked all night and then blamed me for making her sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 379

You deserved it 148

Today, I lost a huge bet with my friends. I had to either post a sexual message on my mom's Facebook wall confessing my "love" for her, or be ratted out for cheating on a school test earlier in the year. Now I'm considered a freak by half my school, and am indefinitely grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 023

You deserved it 45 146