Sex, Jealousy and Intimacy: Jump on me, I beg you - FML

Jump on me, I beg you

By RachelVanLannen9 - 12/07/2010 01:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 225

You deserved it 10 715

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Sweet sensation

By Katrina641 - 26/02/2010 04:20 - France

Spicy

Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 516

You deserved it 4 376

By Magicfml - 05/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I learned that my boyfriend is a better pole dancer than I am, despite daily practice. This was his first time trying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 290

You deserved it 1 028

By missingcharlie - 17/08/2009 02:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided to tell me that the bowling alley had a new air hockey table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 134

You deserved it 5 691

By lonelygal69 - 19/08/2015 05:54 - United States - Stafford

Spicy

Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 111

You deserved it 3 788

By Elise - 28/04/2012 23:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 526

You deserved it 4 580

Experiment!

By anal-retentive - 23/06/2016 20:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 319

You deserved it 4 311

Practical

By Abused - 13/10/2010 08:36 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 896

You deserved it 20 135

By asdfghjkl_12 - 25/02/2009 04:33 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 749

You deserved it 6 704

By Lisa - 18/07/2014 20:21 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 111

You deserved it 7 367

Doggy style

By failuretolaunch2 - 26/02/2015 03:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I'm dating a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 553

You deserved it 4 896

Next

Top comments

JordynnLOL 11

Monday 12 July 2010 9:04

surely a girl rides a guy? ..

beastlycass 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:04

ouch that sucks. go buy a vibrator

Comments

iicyfreshhXD 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:43

pogo sticks are pretty awesome though :o

the_flirtt 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:43

wow ?

HappyPickles 11

Monday 12 July 2010 9:48

I clicked FYL, because no woman should feel so deprived :o) However, let's pause for thought on this. Is your idea of making sex fun just lying back and staring at the ceiling? Perhaps his fire needs a spark from you to get it going? ... Or in his case, to jump start it?

4winds 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:53

how does a man ride a girl?

the_flirtt 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:59

ask ur mom she'll know jk

Freeze_fml 16

Monday 12 July 2010 9:54

*than Time to make a new picture...

laxbro6900 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:57

wow wut a **** no offence

fiveoh 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:59

Dayum!

hhheeeyyyooo 0

Monday 12 July 2010 10:00

this is hardly an FML. kinda sucky I guess but definitely not f**k worthy. YDI

Stevefett 0

Monday 12 July 2010 10:01

Sorry lady but when it's a choice between your ****** or pogoing it's a no brainer.

SoundnVasion 0

Monday 12 July 2010 10:04

ydi for being possibly unattractive!

StevenSS 0

Monday 12 July 2010 10:04

...

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Management Work Jealousy Love Relatable Mental health Relationship advice Awkward Friends Miscellaneous Healthy Lifestyle Health Food Ironic Gifts Mother in law Birthday Family Money Public freakouts Education Parents Students Exams Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

The Top

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 334

You deserved it 3 581

Today, I went on a first date. It started out OK, but halfway through he began "debating" me, talking just like Ben Shapiro. I thought he was joking, or at least satirising the worst way you could talk during a date. I was wrong; he was serious. I'm still not sure what set him off, but I couldn't get a word in edgeways in after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 212

You deserved it 261

The Top

Today, my family and I visited my cousins in Virginia. When we arrived, we found that they already had guests over. I've stuttered my whole life, so when they asked me what my name was, I stuttered for several seconds trying to say my name. Everyone burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 177

You deserved it 3 833

Today, it's my second week of internship, I have like 8 more weeks to go and I'm dreading it. It's an office internship and I HATE being in office environments. The sounds of the phone ringing, doorbell dinging, loud typing, and fluorescent lights? Argh, I want to end myself! FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 918

Today, my brother was telling me about my "sweet" and "pure" ex-girlfriend. Three stab wounds have already proven otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 094

You deserved it 1 899

Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him, "About a dollar?" He said, "Wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 476

You deserved it 3 055

Today, while on vacation, I found out that my boyfriend moved out. He had claimed that he couldn't come with me because his boss messed up his time off request, and for the last two days he said he'd been "cleaning". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 452

You deserved it 289

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 971

You deserved it 14 918