Sex, Jealousy and Intimacy: Jump on me, I beg you

Jump on me, I beg you

By RachelVanLannen9 - 12/07/2010 01:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 225

You deserved it 10 715

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Same thing different taste

Sweet sensation

By Katrina641 - 26/02/2010 04:20 - France

Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 516

You deserved it 4 376

By Magicfml - 05/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I learned that my boyfriend is a better pole dancer than I am, despite daily practice. This was his first time trying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 290

You deserved it 1 028

By missingcharlie - 17/08/2009 02:45 - United States

Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided to tell me that the bowling alley had a new air hockey table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 134

You deserved it 5 691

By lonelygal69 - 19/08/2015 05:54 - United States - Stafford

Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 111

You deserved it 3 788

By Elise - 28/04/2012 23:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 526

You deserved it 4 580

Experiment!

By anal-retentive - 23/06/2016 20:00 - United States

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 319

You deserved it 4 311

Practical

By Abused - 13/10/2010 08:36 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 896

You deserved it 20 135

By asdfghjkl_12 - 25/02/2009 04:33 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 749

You deserved it 6 704

By Lisa - 18/07/2014 20:21 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 111

You deserved it 7 367

Doggy style

By failuretolaunch2 - 26/02/2015 03:31 - United States

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I'm dating a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 554

You deserved it 4 896

JordynnLOL 11

Monday 12 July 2010 9:04

surely a girl rides a guy? ..

beastlycass 0

Monday 12 July 2010 9:04

ouch that sucks. go buy a vibrator

Comments

RedheadCutiee 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 2:49

23- you're sexy ;)

nikalb3 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 2:52

I can help you with that

tagerrun 1

Tuesday 13 July 2010 5:09

Jesus are u 10 or something why the he'll would he get a pogo stick unless u both were little kids

ttyler333 7

Tuesday 13 July 2010 5:53

woot I miss Wisconsin lol

simian_nelipot 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 6:11

I would hope so. You can ride a pogo stick for several hours a day. Having that much sex would be a bit overkill.

trippin10 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 6:11

Hahaha you don't ride a pogostick you hop up and down untill you get it right to where you can do it perfectly

rileykins 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 6:11

sounds like the pogo has something you don't... lol. :]

u_r_idiot 1

Tuesday 13 July 2010 6:54

you're gross

andysofa 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 7:07

oh shucks that is something else

uclabruinblue100 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 7:42

suck it up

Keywords

Art Kids Birthday Covid Health Relatable Awkward Cars Love Transportation Gross Family Poopoo peepee Neighbours Sex Intimacy Lonely Dreams Management Work Jealousy Relationship advice Mental health Friends Miscellaneous Abuse Parents Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Food

The Top

Today, I was sick during the night and had to puke. I had no bucket or trashcan nearby, so I ended up puking on the floor. However, because it was so dark, I didn't notice my cat lying in the exact spot where I puked. She was not amused, giving me the mother of all death glares before she started puking herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 118

Ahoy ship's boys and girls ! Today we're heading to France. Be ready to face rain, storm and beer because Lille is welcoming us, and believe me, it's not Los Angeles. Do you all have your raincoats? -Bonjour ! First of all, present yourself ma jol...

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 6

The Top

Today, I found out that my boyfriend was going to propose to me about three months ago. I was completely surprised and asked why he didn't. At that time, I had told him to stop looking at me like that and go buy me some damn tacos. I was 2 months pregnant then. Now he wants to wait a couple of years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 255

You deserved it 42 381

Today, I noticed a woman struggling to work a parking meter, so I went over to help. She took one look at me before screaming, hitting me in the face, and running back to her car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 193

You deserved it 3 611

Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 665

You deserved it 3 819

Today, I went on a first date, where my date managed to fall in a creek, take me to his house and measure my height, show me family pictures, and perform the Soulja Boy dance in his living room. All while wearing swim trunks because his pants were drying and he didn't have extras. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 138

You deserved it 7 761

Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 424

You deserved it 4 268

Today, I was in a car with my housemate and friends after a long day of studying, when we pulled up at our place. Thinking that we were all going to hang there, I waited for everyone to start getting out. No one did. Turns out they were just waiting for me to get out so they could then leave and go out together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 036

You deserved it 3 955

Jump on me, I beg you

Same thing different taste

Sweet sensation

Experiment!

Practical

Doggy style

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