Sex and Intimacy: It's getting hot in here… - FML

It's getting hot in here…

By pmek - 26/03/2012 09:11 - Australia - Collingwood

Spicy

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 462

You deserved it 3 286

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Same thing different taste

Sexy time

By Msmerfner - 03/08/2013 08:40 - United States - Hemet

Spicy

Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 477

You deserved it 16 098

By Bawo - 02/06/2009 01:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 061

You deserved it 33 972

By LadySteph12 - 29/10/2009 00:53 - Canada

Spicy

Today, the guy I was seeing put candles all over his room to make things romantic. As we were getting it on, a plastic bag caught fire next to the bed. He had the brilliant idea to wave it around to put it out. Burning pieces of plastic landed on my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 366

You deserved it 3 335

By blocked_by_fire - 17/04/2012 18:13 - United States - Pullman

Spicy

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 723

You deserved it 4 510

By BurnedDown - 28/10/2014 20:45 - United Kingdom - Bridlington

Spicy

Today, I wanted to spice things up in the bedroom with my husband, so I set up some Halloween torches to create a wild ambiance. Unfortunately our dickhead neighbours saw the glow, didn't remember that fire tends to give off smoke, and called the fire department on us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 488

You deserved it 7 801

By Anonymous - 06/01/2015 16:40 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 614

You deserved it 4 699

Talking Heads song playing?

By Anonymous - 26/02/2021 07:30 - Australia - Geraldton

Today, I almost burned the house down while changing a lightbulb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 256

Medieval ******

By Brittney - 16/01/2023 00:00

Spicy

Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 368

By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 538

You deserved it 14 903

By Anonymous - 30/11/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 288

You deserved it 72 514

Next

Top comments

skullcandifiedDJ 5

Monday 26 March 2012 16:01

That's hot...

The_Creeper_fml 8

Monday 26 March 2012 16:06

Lamps can be very sexual. Fetishes fetishes fetishes...

Comments

isis_morrigan 18

Monday 26 March 2012 18:12

Well, that's one way to fire up your sex life...

theMelimda 3

Monday 26 March 2012 19:13

Sometimes I wish there was a "like" button on these things. This made me laugh.

fsamslife92 8

Monday 26 March 2012 19:42

There's a favorite button.

soupisyummy 13

Tuesday 27 March 2012 0:36

No. **** you, Facebook. **** YOU.

boopityboppity 11

Tuesday 27 March 2012 1:02

Incidentally, there is a "Like" button on FMLs. If you visit the non-mobile version of the website, the aforementioned button is visible on the bottom right of each FML, just to the left of the Twitter icon. Hope I was of service.

est000dog 11

Monday 26 March 2012 19:32

a) clean your room b) get lamps that don't heat up, I reccomend Leds

fsamslife92 8

Monday 26 March 2012 19:46

I love it when people word their FML creatively.

MrRuffyboots 0

Monday 26 March 2012 20:06

Kinky.

KiddNYC1O 20

Monday 26 March 2012 20:24

I said "Baby, what's your number?" she said "9-1-1"! Role play.

SoSolidSingh 2

Monday 26 March 2012 23:15

Wooooah my sex is on fire!

Rdog4501 0

Monday 26 March 2012 23:47

Hey, you guys found the spark.in your relationship again!

subversivefreak 2

Tuesday 27 March 2012 1:49

In the bedroom, your lamp caught on fire? I'm sure there is a euphemism here somewhere..

OuchCharlay 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 5:43

Too much friction, stop trying to get the genie out.

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Keywords

Public freakouts Education Parents Mother in law Love Argument AITA Miscellaneous Insects Fear Cats Skincare Health Jealousy Coworkers Work Gross Drugs Animals Dogs Fire Awkward Scams Transportation Cars Money Bikes Scary Neighbours Intimacy

The Top

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 480

You deserved it 3 043

Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 486

You deserved it 4 934

The Top

Today, I had a surprise birthday party thrown in my honor. All of my friends and family had been invited, and all of the details were perfect. Who threw the party for me? My ex-girlfriend who I dumped last week for "not being thoughtful enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 043

You deserved it 58 055

Today, I found out where all my expensive bras and panties have been disappearing to. Apparently, while I'm at work, my fifteen year-old son's girlfriend has been stealing them after they have sex in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 343

You deserved it 3 454

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186 856

You deserved it 9 831

Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 473

You deserved it 2 984

Today, after being told my cellphone was under warranty and would be repaired for free, Samsung received my device, changed their minds, and charged me $636.96 to return my device to me. That's more than the device costs new at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 126

You deserved it 198

Today, as a Uber driver, a passenger requested a ride at 5:30 a.m. so he could go a half block to the McDonald's drive thru and back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 959

You deserved it 2 489