Intimacy: Issues

Issues

By Badkitty14 - 09/08/2012 20:16 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 665

You deserved it 3 717

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/01/2013 00:21 - Canada - Corner Brook

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 580

You deserved it 3 418

Apron strings

By heatherjo - 02/11/2011 04:49 - United States

Today, my fiancé told me he wants to buy an engagement ring for his mother, so that she doesn't feel left out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 528

You deserved it 3 932

Denied

By Anonymous - 05/09/2020 02:02

Today, my wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I said sex. She told me to grow up and ask for something more realistic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 929

You deserved it 370

Fashionista

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 00:25 - United States - Newark

Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 564

You deserved it 5 711

By ohgod... - 02/04/2012 02:18 - Canada - Magog

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 157

You deserved it 3 425

By same - 21/11/2015 06:39 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 790

You deserved it 6 876

Threesome

By tkdbb11790 - 20/11/2019 14:00

Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 4 955

By Anonymous - 30/04/2014 21:51 - United States

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 611

You deserved it 5 531

By sadSarah - 01/05/2014 09:59 - United States - New York

Today, as I was waiting in line to give my mom her birthday present, my dad gave her the exact same gift I'd also bought for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 286

You deserved it 4 793

By ooblie - 08/12/2010 08:22 - United States

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "my mom is SO awesome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 949

You deserved it 4 012

ImWhiteBoy_WhoRU 10

Friday 10 August 2012 0:05

He was thinking of his mother during sex... *shudder*

My_Nightmare 19

Friday 10 August 2012 0:04

No time like the present to start thinking about it

Comments

BiChelsea 6

Friday 10 August 2012 9:48

I would recommend something brown, long and sticky. Like a stick.

pwiincezz246 2

Friday 10 August 2012 10:11

That's just a turn off. I don't know why people do that in the middle of sex how about waiting?

Slender_Man 6

Friday 10 August 2012 10:43

That's how you know you need to try something different in bed. It's obviously boring him.

v1k1rox 12

Friday 10 August 2012 11:44

so what?

nognom 2

Friday 10 August 2012 15:02

Lol. Either you reminded him of his mom or sex with you bores him.

dreadedguardian 5

Friday 10 August 2012 15:09

Clearly you're very boring in bed...

AriPLee 0

Friday 10 August 2012 15:15

Sounds like casual sex to me.

HungerGames95 13

Friday 10 August 2012 15:21

Sounds like you're dating a Ray Barone type... RUN WHILE YOU CAN. Haha

gracehi 31

Friday 10 August 2012 15:24

Mauled by a chipmunk. What a way to go. *Removes hat and places it over heart*

CrashAndBurn44 6

Friday 10 August 2012 15:35

He was trying "hold on" for a little longer...

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The Top

Today, I found out I have syphilis. I only slept with one person in my entire life, my boyfriend of 2 years. When I told him about it, he burst into tears and said, "It was one time at a company party" and "Maybe if you put some Vagisil or something, it will go away." Seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 941

You deserved it 137

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 140

You deserved it 12 374

The Top

Today, in the early hours of the morning, a worker started drilling the road right in front of my window. He stopped 5 minutes before my alarm clock rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 695

You deserved it 3 917

Today, my patient, a chubby little girl, stood on a scale to measure her weight. She was 5 years-old and weighed 65 lbs. I started giving her advice on eating healthy: fruits, vegetables, and more greens. She turned to her mother with shocked look and said, "But mommy, the doctor is fat too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 934

You deserved it 21 155

Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 179

You deserved it 3 060

Today, I had to yet again tell my mother-in-law that I wasn't going to name my unborn baby "Ermintrude" after her late mother. My husband told me to stop being difficult, and that he agrees that it would be nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 364

You deserved it 2 576

Today, I discovered that I could have gotten 2,3% off on the vacuum cleaner bags I bought online two weeks ago. At the time I didn't know about the discount. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 655

Today, to be kind, I gave away my tickets for an electronic music event I could no longer attend to a Facebook stranger. Later, they told me they were refused at the door. Turns out the pdf I'd received from the ticketing system contained some placeholder values and invalid QR data. And this happened on April 1st. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 131