Dreams, Wanker and Intimacy: I'm so hot and lonely - FML

I'm so hot and lonely

By lonely dreams - 01/01/2013 17:26 - United States - Reno

Spicy

Today, I have been single and out of the game for so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I now dream about jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 399

You deserved it 6 798

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Get it on, bang a gong

By DrySpellcaster - 07/10/2020 16:57

Spicy

Today, it’s been so long since I’ve had sex, even my wet dreams are about doing it solo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 194

You deserved it 236

By damnit - 16/10/2009 17:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 689

You deserved it 4 261

One track mind

By Anonymous - 29/05/2023 22:00

Spicy

Today, it’s been so long since I've had sex, I dream about it every night and I can barely function mentally unless I masturbate frequently, otherwise I get random boners throughout the day that won’t go away, no matter how much I try to think about something else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 377

Inactive

By inbogota - 06/03/2021 15:30 - Colombia

Spicy

Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 160

Helping hand

By Anonymous - 30/06/2020 02:02

Spicy

Today, its been so long since I've been single, I’ve reached the age where I need Viagra just to masturbate since there’s no woman in my life to save the pills for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 537

You deserved it 300

Cranking

By Anonymous - 21/05/2023 03:00 - United States - Corvallis

Spicy

Today, I cried while masturbating because I genuinely couldn't think of a single person that would fuck me in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 340

By Anonymous - 17/02/2013 19:19 - Botswana - Francistown

Spicy

Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 960

You deserved it 6 002

Anyone can be a 7 if you try hard enough

By Anonymous - 23/09/2022 04:00

Today, I had a very nice, long, and pleasant dream about having a girlfriend for the first time since 2010, and then I woke up. I'm right about myself, I'm going to be single for the rest of my life, and there's no point in trying to change that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 252

By margelover - 11/10/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Spicy

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 120

You deserved it 9 045

No kinkshaming on FML

By Anonymous - 31/07/2013 16:28 - Belgium - Ieper

Spicy

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 691

You deserved it 9 329

Next

Top comments

Welshite 39

Tuesday 1 January 2013 22:44

Forever alone.

ICastillo 24

Tuesday 1 January 2013 22:55

Well your hand will never let you down or cheat on you. It will always be by your side.

Comments

Laughz 2

Wednesday 2 January 2013 6:48

wanna ****

Pikachu17 13

Wednesday 2 January 2013 9:43

Time to hire a hooker

seandoc 13

Wednesday 2 January 2013 20:40

YDI. Love won't just roll around and just pop up. You have to go find it. Go explore.

shyeahh_fml 19

Wednesday 2 January 2013 21:01

Sorry, 11. I probably should have read that a few times because I didn't realize you were talking about that previous FML as well. Your comment now makes complete sense to me :p

jcamps6 7

Wednesday 2 January 2013 23:30

Happened to me to bro...just so depressing but ur not alone OP

RachelSN2191 4

Friday 4 January 2013 7:52

yeah it sucks when that starts to happen it sucks even worse when it happens and your in a relationship so feel lucky you can dream about it at least

row74 7

Monday 7 January 2013 1:18

So much win!

norman112 3

Monday 7 January 2013 7:32

that sucks so much i Cant relate hahaha

TheGoldStandard 6

Wednesday 9 January 2013 21:15

I could never fantasize about an ex. Doesnt get me goin! Hahahaha

vaz_waseem 6

Friday 18 January 2013 16:00

You need to get laid asap.

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 260

You deserved it 14 934

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 940

You deserved it 46 020

The Top

Today, I had to tell an adult man that, even though he’s friends with my roommate and the door is unlocked, he should definitely wait until someone answers the door before letting himself in. I almost shot him because he was rooting through my shit looking for his phone he'd "lost". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 119

Today, I went jogging with my girlfriend. I'm pretty sure my moobs bounced more than her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 082

You deserved it 30 398

Today, I found my mother in tears, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me, "It's your father, he wants a divorce..." I asked if he'd met another woman, and my mom replied "No, not a woman..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 883

You deserved it 4 905

Today, despite doing extra credit, staying after class to have one-on-one tutoring with the TA, doing online tutoring and watching YouTube videos, I still absolutely cannot do math! I’ve been reduced to bribing my nephew to do my work for me. I’m in college. He’s in 7th grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 365

Today, after getting into an argument with my dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 203

You deserved it 7 268

Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 187

You deserved it 6 324