Health and Animals: Help!

Help!

By notwasted39 - 13/07/2009 16:21 - United States

Today, I was walking to my mailbox when I fell down and couldn't get up. My neighbor walked by with his dog, took one look at me struggling, said, "What is wrong with kids these days, drunk at 9 a.m.?" and continued on. I couldn't get up because I'm still healing from a stress fracture in my hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 032

You deserved it 3 092

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Same thing different taste

Agony

By ... - 02/10/2012 20:55 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I fell down the stairs and landed heavily on my foot. Because I wasn't crying, my mom refused to take me to the hospital. It took me an hour of agony to convince her. It turned out to be broken in three different places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 358

You deserved it 1 785

By FootyFoot - 06/03/2012 11:50 - Australia

Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 453

You deserved it 3 222

Hurting over here

By wo-ow - 06/06/2014 23:09 - United States - Bronx

Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 338

You deserved it 4 329

By Never Work With Animals or Children - 26/05/2012 11:06 - United States - Van Nuys

Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 209

You deserved it 2 630

Best foot forward

By Anonymous - 06/07/2020 02:02

Today, after a month of things going wrong in my life and finally getting better, I woke up refreshed and ready to face the day. Then, I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 590

You deserved it 129

By typical - 13/04/2013 23:49 - United States - Cheshire

Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 242

You deserved it 4 154

By Triple F - 07/03/2009 17:16 - United States

Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 187

You deserved it 40 317

By ow - 13/06/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, I was home alone in my apartment. I tripped over my dresser and fell and sprained my ankle. As I was laying there in agonizing pain, my downstairs neighbor shouted at me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 998

You deserved it 4 773

By Anonymous - 19/01/2010 09:34 - United States

Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 394

You deserved it 3 037

Stranded

By TheLemon - 17/02/2017 04:00 - Turkey - Aydin

Today, I finally had a chance to get outside after receiving shrapnel to my leg. My crutches had not yet arrived so I didn't want to risk it, but my buddies said they had my back. We went to the seaside and I sat down as they say they'd be right back. It started to rain and everyone forgot me. I can stand, but not walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 040

You deserved it 577

live_my_life245 0

Monday 13 July 2009 23:02

ohh that must suck! guess the neighbor isn't too nice...

evanwilliams 4

Monday 13 July 2009 23:16

Hey, if you get drunk enough it won't hurt so much. And you'll live up to your neighbor's expectations as well. Problem solved. You're welcome.

Comments

theETHELS 0

Monday 15 March 2010 13:55

this is hilarious! i'm hungover at work and this post really made me laugh! thank you for sharing lovie! :O)

bubbles987 0

Wednesday 5 May 2010 18:16

sounds like you need Life Alert.

PurpleHaze93 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:39

How the hell did he deserve that?

hateevryone 14

Saturday 18 June 2011 2:59

curse that stupid ass neighbor

rubyliu8420 7

Saturday 29 October 2011 4:24

why would u go get the mail?

CMooreButz 8

Friday 8 June 2012 5:17

Sorry to hear that, I fractured my pelvis when I was 20 so I know how that is

Katieslock 17

Sunday 1 June 2014 4:39

well, you should have had life alert

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 9 July 2014 11:18

Did two more walk buy then the third help you? (Good Samaritan)

lucasj23 11

Tuesday 8 May 2018 0:22

maybe you could have said something? wouldn't have been hard to speak up.

wrenavery90 12

Sunday 5 June 2022 8:13

So why didn't you just tell him that?

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The Top

Today, my brother is staying over for a while. I thought I was prepared for this, but I totally forgot that he is inexplicably prone to having random nosebleeds. He's going through my Kleenex faster than a horny teenage boy left alone in his room. Time to hoard Kleenex like how people hoarded toilet paper in 2020. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 83

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes, a huge fly flew straight into my mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 653

You deserved it 4 934

The Top

Today, I found a bunch of half-naked girls saved in my boyfriend's phone, and only a handful of the pics were of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 222

Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 174

You deserved it 12 617

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 000

You deserved it 52 109

Today, I found out why my history grade is so low: the kid in front of me takes my homework, writes his name on it, and passes it off as his own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 762

You deserved it 1 824

Today, I tried pouring water on myself like in Coyote Ugly to the song "Pour Some Sugar On Me." I ended up waterboarding myself and I didn’t stop until the pitcher was done. I felt like I was drowning the whole time, and my partner knew from the choking sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 1 632

Today, I asked out a coworker I really like. She gave me a weird look and said, "You're not gay?" I said no, to which she said, "Well, I am". As it turns out, I was the only one who thought she was straight, and the only one who thought I was straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 819

You deserved it 370