Health: Heavy

Heavy

By Anonymous - 10/10/2011 08:29 - Reserved

Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "Weighing my testicles… you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer." I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 576

You deserved it 3 006

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Same thing different taste

Health tip

By Anonymous - 12/10/2023 16:02 - United States - Laramie

Today, I was hanging with my mates when we found an old pregnancy test. Since I’m a guy, we thought it’d be hilarious if I took it. It came out positive, so we were roaring with laughter. That is, until someone looked up why. Turns out, I might have cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 105

By makinascene - 05/02/2009 10:05 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's office because I was sick. The male nurse led me back and when he weighed me, he said "Why do I get all the beefy girls today?". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 625

You deserved it 5 722

By curlyisnogood - 10/01/2011 00:19

Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 217

You deserved it 3 747

Deez Nuts

By ALittleLighter - 14/09/2021 05:00

Today, I finally lost some weight. Unfortunately, that's only because I had a testicle removed due to cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 074

You deserved it 55

By Mr. Shawzy - 15/01/2009 11:43 - Canada

Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 093

You deserved it 23 229

By Delilah - 01/03/2010 08:53 - Norway

Today, I was at the gym with my boyfriend. He is a bit feminine, but it has never really bothered me. Until I realised I was lifting heavier weights than he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 843

You deserved it 9 768

By 20lbknockout - 20/10/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 088

You deserved it 3 540

By xXfloatingshitlogXx - 03/11/2012 16:04 - Norway - Jessheim

Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 162

You deserved it 2 171

Accounting

By SOME QUESTIONS DON'T NEED ANSWERS - 29/02/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I came home to my boyfriend weighing a cup of shit on the kitchen scale. After I finished screaming in horror, he said he wanted to know how much his average dump weighed, so he could calculate how many pounds of shit he'd made in his adult life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 118

TMI

By Anonymous - 29/03/2021 21:59 - United States - Crystal City

Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 105

Outsider_77 0

Monday 10 October 2011 16:10

Anyone who weighs his testicles should not be taken seriously.

Jovecove 13

Monday 10 October 2011 17:02

FML Team, I request a WTF button.

Comments

ynnhoj 2

Tuesday 11 October 2011 0:25

Damn son you needs to find a new flatmate with the quickness by the way how much did your balls weigh?

BendyStraw 6

Tuesday 11 October 2011 0:27

He's probably stoned. I believe this is why guys and girls should not be flatmates.

Dark_Angel003 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 0:31

better safe than sorry!=p

asktherunes 4

Tuesday 11 October 2011 0:43

What is too heavy for balls?

CyonideCyns 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 1:14

Well, did you?

countmystrides 5

Tuesday 11 October 2011 1:24

Well did you?

sarahlovesyewxD 8

Tuesday 11 October 2011 2:23

I've actually tried to weigh my head before..... Fail?

gsxxerr 4

Tuesday 11 October 2011 2:49

I tried that once but the weight limit on my scale is only 250 lbs. I used one of those scales used to measure bug rigs, worked like a charm :)

KiddFlash 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 4:36

Wat a ****** idiot

unctarheel529 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 5:08

He's a genius! He's not retarded he was trying to get her to take off her pants so he could get some p00n!

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I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 1 317

Today, my girlfriend let out a vile fart in an Uber. It stank so bad, the driver threatened to kick us out. She blamed it on me and called me a pig. Then, she ripped another one, and he actually did kick us out. She had the nerve to act hurt when I called a second Uber only for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 129

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I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 87

Today, I was working at the hospital and it was very busy. Unthinking, I told a patient in a wheelchair to "sit tight" while I checked on something. He mocked me for the rest of his stay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 158

You deserved it 2 544

Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't have time to buy a ticket. When I was the conductor, he was a young man so I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I hadn't bought a ticket he said, "Do your top up, I'm gay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 385

You deserved it 168 229

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I agree, your life sucks 34 243

You deserved it 5 145

Today, my "friends" and I were supposed to go out to eat to celebrate finishing the last day of school, but with a full day of work first, I decided to go buy them donuts. They decided to ditch me while I was gone, and go early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 958

You deserved it 913

Sucking at something is the first step towards being sorta good at something!

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 80