Gullible's travels

By mikay1413 - 08/10/2019 20:00

Today, my step-sister asked me what an organ donor was. I told her it's someone who delivers pianos. She believed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 303

You deserved it 415

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By Vandrefalk - 01/03/2012 00:09 - Norway

Today, I got myself an organ donor card, just to feel wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 951

You deserved it 5 367

By Medic - 29/10/2012 03:10 - United States - Puyallup

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 604

You deserved it 4 341

Play 4′33″ by John Cage

By NonPianoMan - 26/08/2021 16:01

Today, after I'd told this girl I’m seeing that I play piano to impress her, it turns out her father is a pianist and has a grand piano in their house. Tonight, I’m supposed to go to her place to play her my "favorite piece." FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 2 127

By Anonymous - 16/11/2009 18:14 - Canada

Today, my sister was playing a rock star in a play. When she got home, she told me she used one of my old guitars, because I told her it was ok. I said she could take one to practice on, not destroy on stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 150

You deserved it 4 049

Support system

By Anonymous - 20/02/2024 03:00 - United States - South Park Township

Today, I found out that I have a heart disease. When I went to tell my family, they all said that it should kill me faster so that I can donate my organs to my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 87

By NextAmericanIdol? - 08/08/2013 04:09 - United States - Bowie

Today, I had to put my little sister to bed. Usually my mom sings her a lullaby before she puts her to sleep, so I did too. After I finished the song, my sister looked me dead in the eyes and said, "This is why I tell people we aren't related." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 755

You deserved it 5 592

By Steve.mc - 01/05/2011 07:03 - Canada

Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 459

You deserved it 7 974

By themarrowguy - 23/08/2013 10:06 - United States

Today, after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant, my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor. When the results came back with a negative match, she blurted out, "Oh thank god." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 152

You deserved it 4 351

By Carrie G. - 27/07/2012 00:46 - United States - Holland

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why period blood couldn't be saved and donated to the hospital for transplants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 680

You deserved it 2 441

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 10:00

Today, I pretended to have a heart attack so my baby sister would know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she drank my soda instead of helping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 1 711

bl3ur0z3 17

Tuesday 8 October 2019 20:06

F your stepsister's life, she has a sibling who preys on her innocence and lack of knowledge.

kfchicken 31

Wednesday 9 October 2019 0:12

it's called a joke, or sarcasm.

Comments

bl3ur0z3 17

Tuesday 8 October 2019 20:06

F your stepsister's life, she has a sibling who preys on her innocence and lack of knowledge.

ChromaScarlet 12

Tuesday 8 October 2019 20:09

I'm sure this was intended as sarcasm when said to the sister in law

Mathalamus 24

Tuesday 8 October 2019 21:08

Why would you deliberately spread wrong information?

kfchicken 31

Wednesday 9 October 2019 0:12

it's called a joke, or sarcasm.

Mathalamus 24

Wednesday 9 October 2019 9:55

No. Such jokes have no place in most areas of life.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 8 October 2019 22:09

If I got an FML for every time I messed with someone and got them to fall for it, my life would be very F'ed!!

Sinshine 28

Wednesday 9 October 2019 1:16

The question here is how old the sister is. If she's 8, that would be a shitty thing to do. If she's 16+, that lack of knowledge is really sad.

fjvitt 14

Wednesday 9 October 2019 1:34

I was like “why...because it will fall on you...????). Can I have your sister’s number?

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The Top

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 488

You deserved it 183 654

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 1 942

The Top

Today, I found out that my "mosquito bite" was in fact a jellyfish sting I got in Mexico, which has caused me to break out into horrendous hives in the airport waiting for the flight home. It's okay though, the plane is only delayed for 7 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 602

You deserved it 1 854

Today, I was talking to a new friend when I told him my last name. It’s hyphenated. He then left and declared me to be a "stuck-up bitch" who thinks she’s "too good to take a man’s last name." This is the name I was born with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 114

Today, while at work I went to use the public restroom because I had a severe case of diarrhea. All went well until the timed sensor lights went off and I couldn't leave my stall to get them back on. I sat there for thirty minutes in pure darkness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 714

You deserved it 3 935

Today, I was driving to work when I had to abruptly brake to avoid a pedestrian who had suddenly jumped into the street. As a consequence, my parking ID was pushed in between the dashboard and the windshield. It is literally impossible to get it out before my shift starts. In other words, I'm going to get fined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 118

Today, I found my boyfriend of two years is a wanted man in the state of Texas, and was living under a fake identity for the past three years. What is he wanted for? Rampant identity theft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 100

You deserved it 3 027

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason she asked me to shave my beard. When I go down on her shaved, it feels more like her ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 786

You deserved it 3 863