Are you ok with him being a controlling prick? Ugh...

Make me a pie, and bring me my slippers. Go mow the back yard -- that grass ain't gonna cut itself. That does make me happy!

no, he's been super shitty the entire time, just in different ways. his behavior in both cases is unacceptable. why are you tolerating it? you're not his property

That’s a toxic relationship. :(

Tell him, not us, if he doesn't do something about his behaviour, you'll move out(not necessarily divorce)

What you allow, is what will continue.

Um... run!

sounds like it is very much time for you to go back to being super single. Screw your husband and enjoy your life. find someone who will treat you right.

This is domestic abuse. Pure and simple. You need to find a safe way to leave. There are domestic violence hotlines and shelters that can help. It might not seem so bad when you are in it. But once you get out, you will realize just how much abuse there was. Hide your money, make a plan, leave. Abusers get worse if they think you are going to leave and right after. Be safe. His behavior will get worse. You are not safe.

This sounds like a very unhealthy relationship... may be time to reevaluate it.