Animals: Good boy - FML

Good boy

By Lua - 28/06/2016 17:09 - France - Laon

Today, my friends renamed my dog, “Dog Vader.“ Yes, my dog has asthma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 370

You deserved it 925

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/12/2011 04:27 - Canada

Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 969

You deserved it 4 065

By Emily - 05/12/2012 17:55 - United States - Boston

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 705

You deserved it 4 340

Insane

By moving out first chance I get! - 03/03/2023 18:00

Today, my insane mother struck again. She refused to drive me to my doctor’s appointment for my asthma because the office won’t let her bring her precious doggo inside and it’s too cold to sit in the car with it. No, she won’t leave it at home like a normal person, and no it’s not a service dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 93

By Anonymous - 19/06/2019 00:04

Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 543

You deserved it 236

Never forget

By OhhhNooo - 14/03/2010 23:23 - United States

Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 865

You deserved it 2 437

Are you sure you're OK?

By H…… - 20/11/2020 20:08

Today, my roommate and I were talking about how much better my dog has gotten at not peeing in the house, and how I was doing better at not losing my temper when he did. A few hours after this conversation, the dog pissed all over the floor and I screamed so loudly that now my throat hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 2 002

WOOF WOOF

By fuck! - 16/05/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, my upstairs neighbors, in my supposedly pet-free apartment complex, got a puppy. It’s a Great Dane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 107

By aaalias34 - 26/02/2010 11:13 - United States

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 985

You deserved it 8 455

By Swabidizop - 18/05/2015 20:40 - United States - Greeley

Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 042

You deserved it 8 048

By BadBreath - 09/04/2009 03:43 - United States

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 670

You deserved it 9 391

Next

Top comments

MandieL 27

Wednesday 29 June 2016 9:24

I don't understand why this is an issue.

lovebooks07 15

Wednesday 29 June 2016 9:24

I'm sorry about your dog, OP. Though I have to say your friends sound quite hilarious

Comments

MandieL 27

Wednesday 29 June 2016 9:24

I don't understand why this is an issue.

CrassKal 27

Thursday 30 June 2016 4:35

I guess it might be hurtful to poke fun at an animal's health issue. Kind of like calling a double amputee "Lt. Dan". Except the being in question is unaware, so maybe OP feels like the mocking dog behind it's back?

Joseph24689 14

Thursday 30 June 2016 5:04

LT DAN ICE CREAM

lovebooks07 15

Wednesday 29 June 2016 9:24

I'm sorry about your dog, OP. Though I have to say your friends sound quite hilarious

Emirac 10

Wednesday 29 June 2016 9:26

So? I had a female cat we called Dennis and a male dog that my brother called myrtle the turtle. It was funny. I'd say more f your dog's life. Asthma has to suck.

lusanna 19

Wednesday 29 June 2016 9:41

Awe maybe you'll eventually learn to like it or you can name your friend hand solo

Theguyinthedark 11

Wednesday 29 June 2016 12:07

I'm gonna call my friend that. Thank you.

Lt_Senpai 21

Thursday 30 June 2016 5:57

What if I do it with 2 hands?

pandor_fml 24

Wednesday 29 June 2016 9:43

I feel you OP, I tried to name my cat "possum" but everyone just ended up calling her "Not Righty" :( it stuck too. To be fair the cat is pretty not right though

Carrot021 12

Wednesday 29 June 2016 12:26

I had a cat named Possum before. She was a great cat ❤

mds9986 24

Wednesday 29 June 2016 9:47

Luke, you are my puppy.

Lt_Senpai 21

Wednesday 29 June 2016 9:59

Dude, I love Star Trek too!

Mel_ham 15

Monday 13 February 2017 8:11

lmao... star trek

Dr_Awesome654 24

Wednesday 29 June 2016 10:06

Actually, I didn't ask

Lily_Rain77 25

Wednesday 29 June 2016 10:24

Glad I don't have friends like that. I have asthma. Sucks for your dog though.

rmz89 5

Wednesday 29 June 2016 10:54

Learned to use the dog side of the force your dog has.

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 260

You deserved it 14 934

Today, I found out that if you put tea bags into a cup of hot water, the tea bags will melt. The result: You get to drink and chew tea leaves at the same time, with little bits of actual tea to help make them go down. 0/10, do not recommend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 399

The Top

Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 261

You deserved it 11 350

Today, my new boss, the CEO's son, finally showed up for work, three days late and right after lunch break. His first order of business was to call a meeting and scream at everyone for not having a diet latte waiting for him on his desk. God help us all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 185

You deserved it 1 788

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 805

You deserved it 2 729

Today, my husband won’t stop bragging about the girl with the "model cheekbones" from the airport shuttle, who kept telling her friend in French how hot he was in front of us. Miss Model was unaware that we’re from France, and my husband’s ego might never deflate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 151

Today, whilst driving, I had the sudden urge to vomit. As I pulled over I wound my window down, stuck my head out, and emptied my stomach. At least I would have if I had wound down the driver's window instead of the back window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 540

You deserved it 934

Today, my hospital provides me with an IT system from the late '90s to manage the overblown patient documentation requirements of the early 2020s. In one of the richest nations on earth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 102