Health, Sex, Insects and Awkward: Fancy seeing you here

Fancy seeing you here

By Anonymous - 30/06/2022 16:00

Today, I found a massive tick on my boyfriend's ballsack. I found it with my tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 441

You deserved it 217

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Luna - 22/07/2012 02:30 - United States - Carmel

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 684

You deserved it 3 530

Yucky!

By theapplesleader - 23/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 566

You deserved it 3 812

Three is the magic number

By KTBeck - 26/05/2020 14:00

Today, my husband returned from a hiking trip. We had "I missed you" sex and after we were done, he told me about all the ticks he had while on the trail. He then went to shower and while washing, he found a tick latched to his penis. I technically had a three way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 703

You deserved it 345

By UUUGHHH - 05/02/2016 20:33 - France - Villejuif

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 148

You deserved it 2 711

By anonymous - 03/01/2011 19:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me there was a tick on my shoulder and that he would remove it so I shouldn't worry. After about a half hour, lots of blood, and a ton of pain, he told me it was just a mole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 868

You deserved it 5 049

By Anonymous - 29/05/2013 04:32 - United States - Sparta

Today, I went to the Doctor's for a mole my husband had said was, "growing and changing color". It turned out to be a wood tick. My husband knew, but said it was too "icky" to take off himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 591

You deserved it 7 765

By C0r1nn3 - 07/06/2012 04:02 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 800

You deserved it 5 065

By Porkchop05 - 06/09/2009 05:44 - Canada

Today, trying to be sexy I was sucking on my boyfriends fingers. I was really starting to turn him on, when I noticed something crunchy in my mouth. Turns out, he went digging for treasure up his nose earlier. I found the treasure in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 984

You deserved it 14 729

Volvo

By Anonymous - 21/02/2024 19:00

Today, I discovered my girlfriend has a genital wart inside her vagina lips that wasn’t there last week. I found it with my tongue. It did not feel good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 112

Chemistry

By Anonymous - 21/01/2023 10:00

Today, I got my boyfriend's pants down for the first time and turns out my thumb is bigger than his erect penis. I already know he has weak tongue technique, but this is an extra slap in the face I do not need. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 351

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 30 June 2022 19:32

You can tick that off your bucket list!

tiptoppc 19

Thursday 30 June 2022 16:21

Tell him to stop camping au naturale!

Comments

cuz803 44

Thursday 30 June 2022 16:03

Gross. Do a massive clean up around your living space, use bug spray, and check each other's hygiene.

tiptoppc 19

Thursday 30 June 2022 16:21

Tell him to stop camping au naturale!

JackWood 20

Thursday 30 June 2022 16:53

Tick check first, then lick, from now on.

TwoBytesCarley 26

Thursday 30 June 2022 18:51

That escalated quickly..

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 30 June 2022 19:32

You can tick that off your bucket list!

spinningrecords 14

Thursday 30 June 2022 20:11

I’m sure he appreciated the free tick inspection

SirEnigM0nk 22

Thursday 30 June 2022 21:00

Damn ticks need a lickin' for cutting in on your action! Oh wait...

Davey Crocker 7

Thursday 30 June 2022 22:15

Always look before you lick.

Keywords

Love Dreams Jealousy Video games Geek Gamers Family Kids AITA Parents Animals Relatable Gun control Money Amazon Annoying Birthday Cute Health Weird Awkward Abuse Scams Social Media Miscellaneous Friends Mysterious School Education Anger issues

The Top

Today, I asked a girl at work out, who'd claimed she was single. Not ten minutes later, our boss fired me. Turns out that girl is actually his side chick he cheats on his wife with, even though she’s 19 and he’s 48. Not illegal, just scummy as hell, and he fired me out of jealousy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 100

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 339

You deserved it 15 971

The Top

Today, I wore my best suit to an interview. I was told they didn't have any knight shifts available. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 169

You deserved it 78

Today, at the age of 27, I still can’t so much as look at a marker without getting marker on my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 184

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 885

You deserved it 14 051

Today, I got broken up by someone I wasn't even sure I wanted to date in the first place. He also made me realize how little self-respect I have right before dumping me. This is the best thing to happen in my love life in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 172

Today, I was making mashed potatoes in a hurry, I had the pot boiling on high when I had to rush to the bathroom. As I'm walking away, I ask my boyfriend to watch the potatoes. When I returned, they were no longer boiling and he proudly announced he added cold water because they looked a little dry. What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 902

You deserved it 662

Today, I wanted to cancel my internet contract. At the store, they told me I have to cancel by phone. On the phone, they tell me I have to do it via the internet. On the internet, it says they will have a customer support agent call me. Finally, he called me to tell me that the only way to cancel is to send a letter by post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 722

You deserved it 337