Intimacy: Excuses

Excuses

By sucks - 12/03/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 295 476

You deserved it 54 119

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Same thing different taste

White lie

By Sorrymom - 11/08/2017 01:30

Today, I had to watch as my deeply religious mother broke out in tears of joy, as she said how happy she was that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my fiancé and I fucked on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 436

You deserved it 909

Repent!

By Mauro - 22/03/2022 16:00

Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 249

You deserved it 319

By linn - 27/09/2012 20:14 - United States

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 117

You deserved it 3 191

By Missy - 02/02/2011 18:16 - United States

Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 203

You deserved it 17 252

By gotta love my momma - 28/08/2014 05:08 - United States - Folsom

Today, I got married. My booze-hound mother made a toast, and told a story about how she once walked in on us having sex. My husband's family is very religious, and we told them we weren't having sex until marriage. Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 268

You deserved it 11 292

By Yulia - 09/03/2009 10:09 - United States

Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 206

You deserved it 5 218

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 105

Uptight girl, she's been living in her uptight world…

By TheVirginJenny - 07/10/2012 00:05 - United States - Spanaway

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 274

You deserved it 7 882

ICYMI

By senelbeat - 03/07/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 266

You deserved it 8 563

By Told_You_So - 09/07/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 063

You deserved it 5 080

goshkoganwtf 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 20:14

Your mother is a bitch. No offence to you. But its just mean what she did Im sorry.

EmilyMarie 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 20:15

I say you should get pregnant and see how she responds. (Unless you're male I suppose.)

Comments

iammeanttolive 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 20:22

Wow. Your mom should respect your beliefs and personal values. That was a really bitchy comment.

auglyorgan 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 20:27

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

neonoodle 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 20:27

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

aimeegoldberg 22

Sunday 25 August 2013 22:31

I was about to thumbs up you before i read your last sentence. you decided to wait for sex until you had sex? keep making sense, buddy

OCChef 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 20:31

hahahahahahaha! high five to your mom for that burn

wrestler_fml 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 20:36

Your mom's a bad Christian, and she is a fraud, like the great majority of american christians. you should calmly explain that to her, and do it quick, because if she dies with her heart set like this, she isn't exactly bound for the pearly gates..... And that's not really a burn. I'll admit I'm a bad Christian and I didn't wait till marriage for sex, but I probably should wait from now on. I'm torn between the fun of it now, and my eternal future after I die

kamikaze_fml 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 20:41

YOUR A BITCH #9 has it right, people who make this devotion usually cant find anyone who wants to have sex with them I'm Christian, and im telling you your pathetic for not being able to see that sex is a natural part of life, even before you are married. Get a life and get laid, props to your mom for understanding this.

karma5 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 20:47

first, laugh...that's hilarious and I'd have to agree with #16 and #9 and your mom...dude you gotta test drive the car before you buy it...also you're risking an unhappy marriage by not trying it out first like it or not sex and passion are a big part of relationships and marriage....last hahaha religious people are funny

amounirl 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 7:17

Well the thing is anybody can improve, thats the reason why us religious people chose to wait, that and the intimacy and moral benefits, and not risking stds.. If in your relationship you cant openly discuss improving on sex, thats a problem in and of itself..

paeglesbagels 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 19:36

I'm sorry but god really doesn't care if you f**k or not. we were made to procreate. if he made us like that why would we be able to have sex before marriage? and marriage is just a paper and a ring. oh and it also legally binds your soul to someone else. and physical attraction is a big part. it's human instinct to be have the child of someone attractive so it has a higher chance of living

Kingrayer 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 20:50

yo, parents are always so harsh

yeahhbro 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 20:50

#15 way to judge.

Bauer_fml 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 20:59

Well giving you applause for not having sex would be like applauding someone paralyzed from the neck down for not robbing a bank. Just because they can't do it doesn't mean they should get a reward for it. Also, is it really that hard to find horny teenage boys that would probably doing anything with a pulse anymore? Post pictures, I'm sure someone here on FML will like you.