Intimacy: Envy

Envy

By Anonymous - 26/08/2010 08:15 - United States

Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 261

You deserved it 13 100

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 14:27 - United States - Plymouth

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 606

You deserved it 7 350

By murphy - 02/02/2009 10:49 - United States

Today, though I'm normally unperturbed by my single-ness, I walked by some squirrels engaged in mating rituals and felt a pang of jealousy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 414

You deserved it 4 130

What a cozy moment

By ratfaced - 12/10/2017 07:00 - United States - Stamford

Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 723

You deserved it 376

By Merdoc - 03/02/2009 17:22 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's guinea pig managed to go down her shirt. I have been dating her for 3 weeks and I haven't even kissed her yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 342

You deserved it 44 725

By stpdaziandude - 08/05/2009 20:51 - United States

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 896

You deserved it 44 998

Naughty boy

By Anonomous - 29/12/2013 00:31 - United States - Plainfield

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 039

You deserved it 4 155

By Beeisc00l - 05/10/2011 18:58 - Reserved

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 605

You deserved it 22 502

By HelpMe - 25/02/2014 09:59 - United Kingdom - Galashiels

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 981

You deserved it 3 843

By bored2death - 23/07/2010 22:15 - United States

Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 254

You deserved it 6 216

By nick - 27/06/2016 03:44 - United States - Highland Park

Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 460

You deserved it 2 106

duztx 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 16:08

So why would you watch them?

Lounia_fml 8

Thursday 26 August 2010 16:22

Animal **** isn't the solution.. get out there OP :P

Comments

jlynntiger 0

Friday 27 August 2010 1:42

ya who cares, desperate much.

TomAndroidNinja 0

Friday 27 August 2010 5:48

So what.

proski 0

Friday 27 August 2010 5:54

wow

xashleyAsphyxia 0

Friday 27 August 2010 10:16

********** is not cool ;/

charbz 0

Friday 27 August 2010 11:00

lol that sounds wonderful. you should of joined them

TheComputerGuy96 16

Friday 27 August 2010 15:50

Only humans and dolphins have sex for pleasure. So don't worry, your guinea pigs were NOT having fun while *******.

Riah145_fml 0

Friday 27 August 2010 22:47

Lmfaoo wtf wronqq w| yhuu hahhaha

kyle1991 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 2:57

that's just wrong

amprelly 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 6:56

hahhahahhahahahahahahha

sammie25 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 8:02

dont watch!! >:I

Keywords

Management Work Jealousy Love Relatable Mental health Relationship advice Friends Miscellaneous Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Food Birthday Family Money Mother in law Gifts Parents Public freakouts Education Students Exams Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 4

Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 528

You deserved it 30 075

The Top

Today, while out hiking with my girlfriend, she thought it would be funny to push me down a small hill. It turned out there was a 16 foot drop at the end of it, and now my leg is in a cast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 715

You deserved it 1 729

Today, I was helping my elderly neighbor carry her groceries into her kitchen. When I finished, she sighed and said, "You're such a sweet girl. It's just a shame about your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 892

You deserved it 4 009

Today, all the roads going in and out of my town are closed due to flooding. I work 3 towns away, and was threatened with termination if I didn't come to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 239

You deserved it 87

Today, my family and I were laying on my parents' bed watching a movie. My dad wrapped his arm around me and began rubbing my shoulder. That would have been fine, if it actually had been my shoulder and not my boob. Needless to say, we were both mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 234

You deserved it 1 986

Today, I'm in the hospital and it's been 44 hours since I've eaten anything. My doctors won't let me eat and my parents are sitting across the room, eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 057

You deserved it 1 826

Today, I woke up early and rushed to work to get to our first weekly safety meeting. I was the only one that remembered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 373

You deserved it 290

Envy

Same thing different taste

What a cozy moment

Naughty boy

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