Intimacy: Envy - FML

Envy

By Anonymous - 26/08/2010 08:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 261

You deserved it 13 100

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 14:27 - United States - Plymouth

Spicy

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 606

You deserved it 7 350

By murphy - 02/02/2009 10:49 - United States

Today, though I'm normally unperturbed by my single-ness, I walked by some squirrels engaged in mating rituals and felt a pang of jealousy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 414

You deserved it 4 130

What a cozy moment

By ratfaced - 12/10/2017 07:00 - United States - Stamford

Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 723

You deserved it 376

By Merdoc - 03/02/2009 17:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend's guinea pig managed to go down her shirt. I have been dating her for 3 weeks and I haven't even kissed her yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 342

You deserved it 44 725

By stpdaziandude - 08/05/2009 20:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 896

You deserved it 44 998

Naughty boy

By Anonomous - 29/12/2013 00:31 - United States - Plainfield

Spicy

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 039

You deserved it 4 155

By Beeisc00l - 05/10/2011 18:58 - Reserved

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 605

You deserved it 22 502

By HelpMe - 25/02/2014 09:59 - United Kingdom - Galashiels

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 981

You deserved it 3 843

By bored2death - 23/07/2010 22:15 - United States

Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 254

You deserved it 6 216

By nick - 27/06/2016 03:44 - United States - Highland Park

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 460

You deserved it 2 106

Next

Top comments

duztx 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 16:08

So why would you watch them?

Lounia_fml 8

Thursday 26 August 2010 16:22

Animal **** isn't the solution.. get out there OP :P

Comments

peepss 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 18:41

go get some

Criminal58369 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 18:46

reminds me of Bloodhound Gang - Aint Nothing But Mammals lol!

aurasaura 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 19:29

I was thinking the exact same thing! " Haha, well now. we call this the act of mating. But, there are several other very important differences between human beings and animals that you should know about." Words for the wise, or in the Op's case, words for the desparate.

imhowie 2

Thursday 26 August 2010 19:21

That's sick that you watched.

koolkat234 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 19:40

that's when u know it's been to long

machalaDGAF 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 19:55

Your a waste of skin &nd ******* bones.

taylor_bby100 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 20:43

agreed with #21

odille92 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 20:53

Jealousy is fear of losing something you already possess. If you're in a position to feel jealousy (as opposed to envy) when watching your guinea pigs screw, there may be deeper underlying reasons why humans won't have sex with you.

purple_tiger 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 21:44

you were watching? creep.

Bartimaeus 7

Thursday 26 August 2010 23:04

yay ***********... not really. get a life.

bcamgirl 0

Friday 27 August 2010 1:25

wouldn't you like anal in stead of animal sex

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Management Work Jealousy Love Relatable Relationship advice Mental health Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Food Birthday Family Money Mother in law Gifts Parents Public freakouts Education Students Exams Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

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