Health, Drunk and Intimacy: Drunken rampage

Drunken rampage

By Anonymous - 01/08/2011 21:47 - United States

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 993

You deserved it 71 748

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/02/2013 19:58 - United States - Everett

Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 233

You deserved it 8 728

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 04:26 - United States

Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 988

You deserved it 6 348

By Darwin_Award_Winner - 07/06/2012 12:10 - United States - Beaumont

Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 708

You deserved it 36 296

Itchy and scratchy

By Anonymous - 27/07/2021 00:01

Today, it turned out the razor I used for manscaping wasn't as new and sharp as I'd thought. My entire crotch is now overcome with an unfathomable amount of razor burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 351

Sucker

By BadIdea - 01/03/2012 21:23 - France

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 283

You deserved it 59 641

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 00:10 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 149

You deserved it 5 981

By davetherave1983 - 09/09/2015 05:09 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, after carefully, and might I say, expertly removing all the hair from my girlfriend's genitals, she decided to try and "Nair" my balls. 24 hours later and I still can't walk properly and my balls look like they were involved in a severe kitchen incident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 892

You deserved it 5 197

By scaryhairy - 04/11/2009 01:44 - United States

Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 997

You deserved it 5 182

By Anonymous - 02/02/2015 17:38 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 904

You deserved it 3 249

Slicy slicy

By ChloeLuvzAnime - 30/03/2021 17:01

Today, I got the courage to surprise my boyfriend by shaving my pubic region. To my agonizingly painful dismay, the razor sliced through an apparent zit on one of my lips. Now my vagina is bleeding for a whole different reason, and I'm possibly traumatized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 265

jkemp1984 10

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:02

One word: idiot

plantfood 4

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:02

Skin yourself? Hahaha

Comments

futtbuck101 1

Tuesday 2 August 2011 3:43

59-are you OP 'cause you're holding your phone over your privates.

outspokenDancer 6

Tuesday 2 August 2011 3:48

we should party one day! XD

adamls96 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 3:59

I have trouble shaving my balls when I'm sober...

mykeal_fml 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 4:04

That is the funniest I've ever heard Haha!

whitneyphan1520 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 4:09

hahaha

frankwolf86 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 4:34

i feel ur pain...

LotsaLaughs 5

Tuesday 2 August 2011 4:36

yeah,, cause that sounds like a great idea;)

jaff23 11

Tuesday 2 August 2011 4:40

oh you poor man

werx 6

Tuesday 2 August 2011 4:43

You should have used a bent razor..... get it?

Maverick52 13

Tuesday 2 August 2011 4:53

I guess you can say it was a close shave lol... But seriously OP that sucks fyl

Keywords

Management Work Jealousy Love Relatable Mental health Relationship advice Awkward Friends Miscellaneous Healthy Lifestyle Health Food Ironic Mother in law Gifts Birthday Family Money Public freakouts Education Parents Students Exams Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

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I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 476

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I agree, your life sucks 80 142

You deserved it 11 901

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I agree, your life sucks 57 331

You deserved it 3 528

Today, after I kicked my boyfriend out, thinking the sudden separation would make him value our relationship more, I heard he's spent the last 3 weeks at his brother's constantly playing Xbox, hasn’t called me once, and now I’m hearing rumours he’s been taking other women home from sleazy bars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 2 919

Today, I mopped all the floors in my house. When I was finally done, I accidentally knocked over an open bottle of soda. My cats took this as a perfect opportunity to chase each other around, step in the soda, and track sticky paw prints everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 628

You deserved it 7 128

Today, I gave a girl I like a $200 diamond necklace to express how much she means to me. She gave me a hug and told me she didn't want to lose me as a friend. Nor did she want to lose her new necklace. Today, I got a $200 hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 074

You deserved it 41 914

Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 255

You deserved it 3 690

Today, my 25 year-old brother ran into my room very excited at 8 am. "Wake up! We got a new puppy!" he told me. I was so excited, I jumped out of my warm bed. When I asked him if he was serious, he said, "No, but we have to go to church, so get dressed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 436

You deserved it 9 355