Health, Drunk and Intimacy: Drunken rampage

Drunken rampage

By Anonymous - 01/08/2011 21:47 - United States

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 993

You deserved it 71 748

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/02/2013 19:58 - United States - Everett

Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 233

You deserved it 8 728

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 04:26 - United States

Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 988

You deserved it 6 348

By Darwin_Award_Winner - 07/06/2012 12:10 - United States - Beaumont

Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 708

You deserved it 36 296

Itchy and scratchy

By Anonymous - 27/07/2021 00:01

Today, it turned out the razor I used for manscaping wasn't as new and sharp as I'd thought. My entire crotch is now overcome with an unfathomable amount of razor burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 351

Sucker

By BadIdea - 01/03/2012 21:23 - France

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 283

You deserved it 59 641

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 00:10 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 149

You deserved it 5 981

By davetherave1983 - 09/09/2015 05:09 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, after carefully, and might I say, expertly removing all the hair from my girlfriend's genitals, she decided to try and "Nair" my balls. 24 hours later and I still can't walk properly and my balls look like they were involved in a severe kitchen incident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 892

You deserved it 5 197

By scaryhairy - 04/11/2009 01:44 - United States

Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 997

You deserved it 5 182

By Anonymous - 02/02/2015 17:38 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 904

You deserved it 3 249

Slicy slicy

By ChloeLuvzAnime - 30/03/2021 17:01

Today, I got the courage to surprise my boyfriend by shaving my pubic region. To my agonizingly painful dismay, the razor sliced through an apparent zit on one of my lips. Now my vagina is bleeding for a whole different reason, and I'm possibly traumatized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 265

jkemp1984 10

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:02

One word: idiot

plantfood 4

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:02

Skin yourself? Hahaha

Comments

_Oblivion_ 12

Tuesday 2 August 2011 5:46

89 stfu u ruined the thread. No one cares

liquidSELECT 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 5:51

Put some lemon on it

Adv3ntur3Tim3Rox 3

Tuesday 2 August 2011 5:51

Can ur balls evwn fall off??

hqbrat 8

Tuesday 2 August 2011 5:52

how can someone think right if he was " shitfaced "? but still what a dumbass

MurphyS94 4

Tuesday 2 August 2011 6:06

Well I bet THAT sobered you up pretty quickly o.o

kickblocker 18

Tuesday 2 August 2011 6:11

Oh wow, this hurt just reading it...and it hurt more because i just got hit in the balls a minute ago

aceingit 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 6:13

8=======D

nasa_2313 5

Tuesday 2 August 2011 6:16

Gross..

p3t3rrrn 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 6:22

CHOP YOUR BALLS OFF!!!! (like a boss)

ScubaSteve96 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 6:25

Too bad you dont have balls of steel.

Keywords

Work Management Jealousy Love Relationship advice Mental health Relatable Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Health Food Ironic Mother in law Gifts Money Birthday Family Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Exams Students Weird Argument AITA Fear Insects

The Top

Today, I found out why I’ve been covering most of the bills and the rent. Turns out my boyfriend is paying a very expensive OnlyFans subscription for his female bestie. When I confronted him about it, he responded by yelling, “It’s not like that!” and punched our glass patio door, shattering it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 575

You deserved it 241

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 142

You deserved it 11 901

The Top

Today, I received an email saying, "Thinking of you and hoping you are taking care." It was from the love of my life. We broke up 20 years ago. Previously, we had contact every 5+ years. It's just too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 126

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 365

You deserved it 18 418

Today, my thick-as-pig shit mother, who is both religious and almost illiterate, went through my room and threw away anything she thought would be immoral. She threw away Moby Dick because of the word Dick, yet ignored 50 Shades of Grey, because that’s how thick and ignorant she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 132

Today, I heard a knock on my door and, thinking it was my student adviser, opened it. I was greeted by a drunk girl, who pushed her way into my dorm room, informed me that she lived here last year, and then told me that she lost her virginity in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 600

You deserved it 3 738

Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 952

You deserved it 3 152

Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 491

You deserved it 3 233