Scams, Parents and Miscellaneous: CONFESS!

CONFESS!

By daughter of a gullible cunt - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 291

You deserved it 2 752

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Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Coffee Boy - 23/06/2012 04:55 - United States - Chesterfield

Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 080

You deserved it 1 988

Who? Where? Why? What?

By up to no-good... - 22/08/2014 04:09 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 486

You deserved it 3 222

By Anonymous - 23/06/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, my mom went to a psychic. The reason? She has convinced herself that I'm gay, even though I've told her that I'm not and never have been. The psychic disagreed. Apparently, I'm bicurious with one of my guy friends. Guess who my mom believes? FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 848

You deserved it 3 687

By ughh - 22/11/2011 13:22 - United States

Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 107

You deserved it 5 902

Drunken ramblings

By VHgolf1989 - 30/03/2022 12:00

Today, as usual, my mother had wine when she has the next day off. Three bottles deep, she started talking about an Indian burial ground that haunts the house, and she knows this because they talk to her in her dreams, so she is right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 93

"Tubular Bells" by Mike Oldfield starts playing…

By Sodapop40 - 21/06/2020 05:05

Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 125

By anonymous - 06/05/2013 18:08 - United States - Poway

Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 451

You deserved it 4 985

By Teen With No Money - 03/08/2011 15:49 - United States

Today, my mother took 350 dollars from savings to go to a psychic. But it's okay though, because now I know I'm an "ancient soul from another dimension". An "ancient soul" who now has no money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 360

You deserved it 3 113

By Anonymous - 08/11/2014 20:36 - United States - Deland

Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 980

You deserved it 38 768

By ahhhhhhh - 30/07/2019 14:00

Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 627

You deserved it 616

lenamartinovic 13

Monday 14 January 2013 2:49

How do you know your sister hasn't been traveling with the Doctor while you're sleeping?

meeeaner_th 16

Monday 14 January 2013 2:50

Bit of a harsh username there, OP.

Comments

dyehardxen 19

Monday 14 January 2013 3:11

"...who her that told her that one of her children..." did the first 'who her' throw anyone else off?

alycion 38

Monday 14 January 2013 3:12

Everyone keeps secrets at one time or another. With multiple kids, its a good guess that someone is keeping something quiet. Kind of how the psychic thing seems to work, play the odds and read reactions.

Damian95 16

Monday 14 January 2013 3:15

"Mom, the truth is...that under all of these clothes...I'm naked. Please don't be angry ill never do it again."

WolfAtTheDoor 7

Monday 14 January 2013 3:17

I feel sorry for you, OP. These "psychics" should be taken lightly...or just not visited at all. This will probably be a self-fulfilling prophecy as you and your siblings could start sneaking out or breaking your punishments.