Porn and Intimacy: Collector's items - FML

Collector's items

By Username - 21/04/2011 18:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines had been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 212

You deserved it 55 668

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Same thing different taste

By waitwhat - 18/03/2012 20:46 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Spicy

Today, I was browsing some hardcore porn sites. My mum decided to barge into my room uninvited, so I quickly switched tabs. Unfortunately for me, all five other tabs were also parked on porn galleries. Now my computer and phone are confiscated, and I can only get online at the local library. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 792

You deserved it 60 302

By MyHeadHurts - 20/01/2012 10:42 - Ireland

Spicy

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 205

You deserved it 39 600

By wow - 28/11/2011 01:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom went through my textbook and sharpied everything that could be "pornographic." It's a high-school biology textbook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 914

You deserved it 2 068

Old school cool

By Chimychunga - 01/08/2010 06:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 314

You deserved it 5 637

By ;)loganberry(; - 27/12/2011 17:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 685

You deserved it 50 379

By bipbip - 12/11/2008 07:53 - France

Today, at work, I received an email telling me that viewing porn websites was prohibited and was a good enough reason to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 339

You deserved it 68 751

Now watching

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 23:07 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 775

You deserved it 32 319

Scarred a generation

By nbj10 - 31/05/2013 22:42 - Singapore - Singapore

Spicy

Today, my dad went snooping on my laptop, and saw that I'd recently looked up 2 Girls, 1 Cup. It was out of morbid curiosity, but he thinks I'm into "satanic porn", and confiscated every electronic device I own. Now I have to sneak to the library just to check my emails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 268

You deserved it 15 371

By Natalie - 02/03/2010 22:05 - Canada

Today, I discovered that my sister coloured in the pages of my college text books with Sharpie as revenge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 421

You deserved it 5 236

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 14:44 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 713

You deserved it 45 189

Next

Top comments

browntiga 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 23:16

that's for being an idiot and not using the internet for ****

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Friday 22 April 2011 0:21

All this **** talk... I know what I'm doing for the rest of the day ;D See y'all laterr

Comments

brittp 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 0:42

bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!

somerandomdude89 0

Monday 2 May 2011 1:46

truthfully sex is more satisfying

tylerpienta 6

Tuesday 10 May 2011 0:05

bruh or girl ??? :p tht SUCKS tht why u use Internet

gagaman_fml 0

Saturday 14 May 2011 2:37

tube8.com gaytube.com baitbus.com

I'madumbass 19

Friday 7 July 2017 18:16

That is what my parents would do if I ever told them I would like to know more about this stuff. Or just stop being sheltered in general. I don't even get a lot of basic sex jokes, and I have to look up a bunch of.............interesting things since downloading this app!!!! Keep it coming, people. I wanna learn (and sorry about the censors, OP).

I'madumbass 19

Friday 7 July 2017 18:18

Notice my username. It's there for a reason. ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Keywords

Weird Miscellaneous Neighbours Cops Stressed out Parents Health Scary Cars Embarrassing Transportation Work First Dates Love My ex LGBTQIA+ Social Media Facebook Virginity Sex Intimacy Painful School Dating Tinder Awkward Jealousy Coworkers AITA Skincare

The Top

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 168

You deserved it 2 955

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 144

You deserved it 11 901

The Top

Today, I got my first job interview since the pandemic started, with Dollar Tree. The interview was going great, until I accidentally said ,"Dollar General." Safe to say I’m not getting that job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 215

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 391

You deserved it 8 520

Today, at a company event, there was a break. The Blue Danube was playing. Bored, I absentmindedly start singing, “My butt is ugly” to the melody. I forgot that my mic was on and the whole auditorium heard. Not only was I sent home, but my boss wants to “discuss” it on Monday at the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 1 111

Today, I got chewed out at work when my supervisor showed up, because my coworkers told my supervisor they couldn't find me for an hour and a half. Why couldn't they find me? Because they'd left to go get coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 474

You deserved it 2 226

Today, my ex called me, apologetic about her mistakes, and saying she realised she wants to be with me. I eventually agreed to coffee, just to see if the old spark was still there. I ended up leaving after 0.0000005 seconds. She was 6 months pregnant with some other dude's baby. I wasted my afternoon for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 146

Today, I was bowling with a woman I like. At the end of the night, I was trying to decide whether I should ask her out. I went up to her and said, "It was fun bowling with you." She said, "Thank you, Patrick." My name isn't Patrick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 131