Animals and Cats: Clean me, humanoid

Clean me, humanoid

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 15:00

Today, I had to wash my cat. Twice. The first time was because he decided to roll over in the litter tray after using it. The second was the result of him pissing on the floor, then rolling in it right after I'd dried him from the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 432

You deserved it 252

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Same thing different taste

By Chris Chandler - 04/11/2018 15:30

Today, my cat peed on the kitchen floor. As I went to get the mop, I slipped on the puddle not once, not twice, but three times. In quick succession. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 370

You deserved it 668

By Anonymous - 04/05/2009 12:37 - Canada

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 004

You deserved it 28 858

By Noname - 12/03/2009 22:08 - United States

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150 390

You deserved it 22 958

Smells better when turned on

By p0isonOreo68 - 24/09/2020 20:02

Today, my cat peed on my stove. There’s multiple clean litter-boxes that he could have used instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 202

By Js2cool - 29/09/2015 02:32 - United States - Fitchburg

Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 080

You deserved it 7 114

Precision strike

By Zodiacfall - 27/10/2019 02:00

Today, I replaced my bedsheets with new, clean ones. I went to the bathroom to wash up, and when I came back, my cat had peed exactly where my head would be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 592

You deserved it 232

By Jeanna S. - 23/11/2012 15:10 - United States

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 411

You deserved it 28 268

Smelly cat, smelly cat…

By Kas - 25/11/2020 11:02

Today, my cat decided the perfect place to throw up was on herself. Cleaning a smelly old cat with a showerhead is trouble enough, but when she tried to escape, it resulted in the bathroom being turned into one big puddle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 140

By Adam - 16/03/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 328

You deserved it 5 172

By crazycat - 13/05/2011 16:23 - Canada

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 608

You deserved it 5 831

samomaha 17

Monday 2 March 2020 23:43

He needs to see avet - that is not normal cat behavior.

silentbabydeer 10

Monday 2 March 2020 15:06

I feel like he’s doing this on purpose to make your life as miserable as possible.

Comments

silentbabydeer 10

Monday 2 March 2020 15:06

I feel like he’s doing this on purpose to make your life as miserable as possible.

Yudith 24

Monday 2 March 2020 18:25

Have you tried to teach him to sit and fetch? Because it looks like he believes he's a dog.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 2 March 2020 19:53

You need to take him to a cat psychologist. He's obviously pissed off and feels shitty about himself.

blissmiss17 16

Monday 2 March 2020 21:00

As much as I love cats, I also think they are sadistic little assholes sometimes

demix_fml 32

Monday 2 March 2020 23:03

What did you do to upset him? 😂

samomaha 17

Monday 2 March 2020 23:43

He needs to see avet - that is not normal cat behavior.

WistayShlaio82 13

Tuesday 3 March 2020 3:49

Odd that your cat really wants to have dirty fur

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 262

You deserved it 2 123

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 848

You deserved it 7 890

The Top

Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 670

You deserved it 42 740

Today, I sat right next to the door on the bus. When I went to get up, a man tripped and pushed me down the exit door stairs. I fell down and broke my ankle. While tending to my ankle, the bus doors closed and my backpack with my laptop, notes and calculator drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 874

You deserved it 2 374

Today, my dad made a new house rule: "If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down." My whole house now smells like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 529

You deserved it 2 775

Today, the guy I broke up with for not putting any effort into the relationship asked if he could make it up to me by taking me out to lunch. He stood me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 025

You deserved it 7 017

Today, a co-worker described, in vivid detail in the middle of the office, how he dribbles after peeing, and often has a burning sensation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 897

You deserved it 2 744

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 958

You deserved it 3 684