Health: Childfree

Childfree

By Anonymous - 17/08/2015 08:33 - United States

Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 698

You deserved it 42 877

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Same thing different taste

How could you?

By Anon - 25/07/2022 06:00

Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 395

You deserved it 549

Happy days

By Anonymous - 08/08/2023 20:00

Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 1 045

By DaChief - 31/05/2016 03:17 - United States - Highland Park

Today, I went to the doctor. They did a test and said they would email me the results. My girlfriend saw the email that said "The test was positive", and now she thinks I'm cheating on her with someone named Doctor Johnson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 364

You deserved it 1 093

By DevastatedWoman - 11/08/2015 15:30 - Belgium - Kalmthout

Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 543

You deserved it 2 027

By Haitwun - 14/12/2015 07:29 - United States - El Monte

Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 179

You deserved it 2 620

By N/A - 25/09/2012 04:13 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 465

You deserved it 2 838

By sadface - 03/02/2010 11:58 - France

Today, I found out that I'm not actually pregnant. I've apparently been having a hysterical pregnancy because I want a child so badly. I don't know which was worse, the look of relief on my husband's face or having to send a mass email to inform my family and friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 052

You deserved it 9 096

No kidding

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 18:41 - United States - Portland

Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 910

You deserved it 10 860

By kaybax - 19/11/2011 11:42 - South Africa

Today, I gave my boyfriend the silent treatment. He put his Facebook status as "When your girlfriend finally shuts up for once". FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 083

You deserved it 46 538

STFU

By annoyedguy - 30/06/2009 11:20 - United States

Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 455

You deserved it 96 688

Welshite 39

Monday 17 August 2015 23:44

Get a vasectomy if you don't want children. Sympathize with your girlfriend because learning of infertility can be devastating for some.

GavinoFreedom 20

Monday 17 August 2015 23:43

Well I would say that you deserved it but you already know that.

Comments

Atalia 17

Tuesday 18 August 2015 1:35

How insensitive of you. I'd be devastated if I found out I couldn't have children.

LegionRapier61 8

Tuesday 18 August 2015 1:36

Probably for the best... sounds like you shouldn't reproduce.

tylercarolinex 21

Tuesday 18 August 2015 2:35

Agreed!

A1NoSauce 17

Tuesday 18 August 2015 1:46

Wow dude. Where you were supposed to be helpful and comforting you instead chose to be excited? YDI.

Keiraquarium 12

Tuesday 18 August 2015 1:49

You totally deserve this one. I definitely don't want kids right now and neither does my boyfriend but I'd be absolutely devastated if I found out I couldn't have children. I can't imagine how your girlfriend must be feeling, please try to be more sensitive about it now

PikarooArtist 17

Tuesday 18 August 2015 1:49

Sucks for her but I can sympathize with ya, I rather not have the ability to have kids ether (not saying having kids is bad or anything) but try maybe getting a puppy or consider adoption?

justfml22 13

Tuesday 18 August 2015 1:53

I would probably dump you right on the spot.

gunzerker 8

Tuesday 18 August 2015 1:57

you'll be lucky if she doesn't leave you.

thenameisfatma 23

Tuesday 18 August 2015 1:59

I'm sorry I clicked fyl by mistake I was gonna click ydi. Anyways thats sooo ******* insensitive of you and why did you even get excited? did you only think about the sex? I honestly hope that the silent treatment goes for waaaaay more than 5 hours.