Try doing it whacked on on ganja to the point where you’re so baker you somehow convinced yourself that New York City doesn’t exist. See how you do then.

Did you try to play one of the games she’s good at? Here the only FML I could see was if your wife was the one that kept asking you to play and if she thought she was good. Yes, chess is an « intellectual » sport, but it’s not a real problem to be bad at it. Whining about your wife being bad at it and wanting to keep playing her despite it (instead of teaching her or leaving it alone) is the problem.

I can’t help but feel like it’d be less effort to just tell her you don’t want to play chess with her as opposed to drinking away all that money and whining about it here.

Give her vibrating anal beads so she has a better chance. I hear the chess cheaters use them.

Teach her!