As a treat

By Sleepdeprived - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Falmouth

Today, I bought some crickets as a treat for my lizard. One escaped and somehow got into the heating system in my room. The chirping is amplified and comes from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Goodbye, restful sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 439
You deserved it 9 960

Same thing different taste

Top comments

at least if theres an awkward silence there will be proper sound effects

It will die soon and dry up quickly, don't worry. I absolutely despise crickets. if you want to treat your lizard get him hornworms or Phoenix Worms.

Comments

FYL OP hope you figure out a way to stop the sound.

I just got a picture of Jiminy Cricket wearing his top hat, umbrella in hand, laughing away at OP from inside the heating system...

Turn the heat up high. Let it cook up there.

asnakelovinbabe 16

It will be dead within a week or two. Lifespan of house crickets (acheta domesticus, the species propagated worldwide for pet food and in eastern countries, human food!) is only 2-3 months tops, and much of that life was already spent as a wingless juvenile. If it is chirping, it is an adult cricket, and it doesn't have much time left. Add that to the fact that is was raised as a pet store cricket which are generally underfed and overcrowded.... It will be dead before you know it. The suggestion of turning up the heat would likely work well.

It disturbs me how vast your knowledge of crickets is.

\ 28

#46 Are you an entomologist?

asnakelovinbabe 16

Nope, I am just a reptile and insect enthusiast. I have a pretty good knowledge of that kind of stuff, but I do not have a degree in either entomology or herpetology. I don't study them scientifically, I just keep them on a professional level and do a lot of reading. I am an artist by trade, the reptiles and bugs are just my passions. I have bred thousands of crickets and other feeder insects for my reptiles, so the whole knowing way too much about crickets kind of just comes with that. In my family/friend circle I am definitely "that person" that you can always count on to deliver useless facts. :) 71, I lol'ed, and so did my husband, because even I was disturbed by that after I re-read my comment!

Turn the AC on! The colder it gets the quieter they are! Heat makes them louder, it's the natural hibernation and body heat cycle.

incoherentrmblr 21

You'll get used to it and you'll fall asleep in due time. The only problem is once you get use to it, will you need it in the background all the time...

Ear plugs? Idk if those really work.. Just an idea :/ fyl!

daisylokes 16

did you know that if you record them and slow down the recording afterwards, they sound like angels singing, i swear! google it, if you dont believe me. Gods cricket choir :)

at least if theres an awkward silence there will be proper sound effects

Just listen to your house next time someone makes a terrible pun on here.

schhichick 14

Are the sound effects coming from your conscience, Pinochio?

It will die soon and dry up quickly, don't worry. I absolutely despise crickets. if you want to treat your lizard get him hornworms or Phoenix Worms.

asnakelovinbabe 16

Agreed... Crickets alone are rather nutritionally poor anyways and are good parasite vectors. The hornworms are great if your lizard is big enough to eat them. Phoenix worms, super worms, several species of roach, etc.... If you want something similar sized to crickets, you can now buy Turkish roaches as feeders, and you can even buy them frozen. My lizards all readily eat them off the tongs, even dead like that.

Uh, he has a lizard? Just a wild wild guess...

asnakelovinbabe 16

If you were asking me, 54, I have been a part of the reptile industry for over 10 years now and it's just kind of.... my "thing".

Shame that in Aus crickets, woodies, and meal worms are all that's commercially available. Silk worms are seasonally available but very expensive. Now they are available my dragon is brumating.

You can get Phoenix Worms/hornworms online. I live in Newfoundland. We order feeders from the states by the thousands for our beardies. Roaches are illegal here, non-native pest species. Also, you can actually get horn worms small enough for any lizard online!

turtles4life 24

I was thinking that, then realized it's probably pretty flammable. Best not to put it in/around the heating system.

Raid is also very toxic to humans and putting it in your heating system and having it dispersed through your house is just a bad idea

asnakelovinbabe 16

Turning up the heat for a few hours should be plenty. No need to fumigate your whole family with neurotoxins!!!

That's not the best idea, the lizard might end up camping out in the heating system and never coming out.

If it's a heating system, try burning it?

I don't know about OP but where I live the last thing I want to do these days is turn the heat up

Time to call the exterminator... Or maybe try to use it as a peaceful sound to fall asleep to. I'm used to sleeping in silence and I hate the ticking sound my clock makes, but I just learn to tune it out. Might not be super helpful but worth a shot :/

an exterminator for one little cricket? sounds kinda extreme

asnakelovinbabe 16

An exterminator, a $100 plus bill, for one 5 cent cricket that will be dead by the end of the week. Lol!!!

Play music as loud as you can and it will be soon jumping out of there