Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
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Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, my dog is mad at me due to the fact that earlier in the day I ate 2 peanut butter cookies. Apparently, they were his dog treats. I had no idea. FML
Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML
Today, I tried to sneak some cookies out of the pantry without my dog noticing. I dropped one, and now he thinks that every time I open the pantry, it’s snack time. He won’t stop barking at it. FML
Today, I found out my dog can open the fridge. Now I have no food left. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had figured out how to open the fridge again. He'd helped himself to raw eggs and crab. FML
Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML
Today, a dog came into my yard. I bent down to pet him, forgetting I had a burger in my hand. The dog grabbed it and ran. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 39
That doesn't make him a genius. He's just smarter than you.
Denny1 15
Good boy
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Comments (89)
Denny1 15
Good boy
dalink 24
So your name is shaggy And his is scooby doo?
Nyx_fml 23
OP, your dog was just saying "are you gonna eat that?"
Welshite 39
That doesn't make him a genius. He's just smarter than you.
Riku714 25
Bacon can do terrible things to honest dogs
sonicsistar 7
Ha ha! Think you've got a point there.
klovemachine 24
It's bacon!!!!!! No it's beggin strips :D
Blink_me26 21
"Tofu? You want the beggin?!"
herpderp1234 17
Shots fired
Grayness_ 26
Next time, fix a sandwich for him (._.)/
Nordrag 26
I like you. everyones all thinking ideas to keep the sandwich away from the dog. but here we have a real problem solver.
klovemachine 24
When my wife and I fix food, we share with our dogs. Of course, the puppy will get in our faces while we eat.
ilytyvm 25
Definitely a true problem solver. He's pointing out the only true solution. You could take the sandwich with you, but then you have your back turned to your pooch, and if he has no courtesy, you could end up face down and your sandwich stolen from your hand before you know what happened. We already know what happens when you leave the bacon sandwich on the plate while you go to check for a supervillain on your porch before you realize that the true villain is already in your house, scarfing down your sammich. Therefore, the only answer left is to make your furry best friend his own food so he doesn't have to be put in the doghouse for stealing yours. Good job!
TheOnlyKittyKat 15
I think you should hold off on calling him evil until the knives start disappearing.
TylerAnderson98 10
Run. Run very far.
QuantumLife 12
I couldn't even be mad at a dog that boss.
Enslaved 36
He probably thought it was his Beggin Strip sandwich.
buckdharma 37
Quick!, Find his copy of "How To Train Your Master."
kenoswild 14
He's no genius. He's just sneaky and obliviously very hungry.
MidnaLink 33
Obliviously?
Ch_rae5 19
or not.. dogs are like teenagers they jump at any chance of possible eating especially if it includes bacon.
Chelarie 9
Doesn't everyone jump at the possibility of eating bacon?
kenoswild 14
Obviously** stupid autocorrect.
tymarie2012 31
Not me... I hate bacon
CloudBustah 20
#66 BLASPHEMY! No one hates bacon! Except Muslims. Their religion, you know.
grghillis96 15
And Jewish people