Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I fell off my bike. I grazed my knee, shin, thigh, hip, collar bone, shoulder and face. I also strained my wrist. As I was wheeling my bike away, I stung my other leg on nettles. FML
Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML
Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML
Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML
Today, while riding a massive draft horse, the horse thought it would be fun to walk under a very low apple tree that sat level with his back. A branch hit me and made me fall off onto a coil of barbed wire, twisting my ankle in the process. FML
Today, my dad tried to help me overcome my intense fear of horses (due to nearly being killed by one as a child) by taking me to a ranch. Within 30 minutes, a horse bit my face. FML
Today, I went horseback riding with this guy I like. I asked him to help me get on the horse. I slipped, and while trying to keep my balance, I kicked him in the face. FML
Today, I was horseback riding. Somebody yelled something behind me, so I turned around. Next thing I know, I am on the ground and my head is killing me. It turns out I ran into a tree branch. The person behind me simply said, "Watch out!" FML
Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML
Today, not only did my horse step on my foot & refuse to move, he also took the opportunity to crap on my other foot while I was incapable of moving. FML
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Top comments
DeidaraAkatsuki 17
That's why I always steer clear of extreme sports such as horse riding.
Damian95 16
Sounds like a pain in the ass.
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Comments (123)
DeidaraAkatsuki 17
That's why I always steer clear of extreme sports such as horse riding.
Ambient25 24
I see what you did there
BauerMegan 31
I don't? :(
Misswildsides 22
Horses do the stupidest things. Mine likes to spook out of nowhere, and run under low branches. I hope you're okay, OP
AngrySailor 17
She rides cattle. They are pretty sedentary untill you tie a rope firmly around their balls...
Melolssa 8
horse riding is actually very safe. i think the poster of this FML intended this to be sexual, which made the horse angry. He also deserves it for having such a dumb horse.
RoboCunnilingus 23
Hey, #1, it's not that extreme, it's mare horse riding.
AngrySailor 17
#42 the phrase "he panicked" leads me to believe otherwise...
crazytwinsmom 25
I'm pretty sure 42 meant mare as a pun for mere.
Kyle_Kawi27 7
Its not extreme...
ManInTheMachine 19
57-It was a joke, dumbass.
RoboCunnilingus 23
#50, thanks for not letting #45 rein on my parade.
AngrySailor 17
Ya, my bad robo!
F1_Phantom 6
Not too extreme, I do vaulting it's sort of extreme lol. (See my profile pic)
Murilirum 23
I think dogs have just been overtaken by horses as mans bestfriend, this made my day haha.
persings 5
Never will horses be better then my trusty mutt
Ambient25 24
the only trustworthy horse is in the movie Mulan
KVKdragon 26
The horse's name (in Mulan) is Khan I believe :)
SumBur 11
The horse in Tangled is pretty badass too.
ShawnBushOG 9
Horses will never replace dogs as mans best friend.
Hiimhaileypotter 52
Dogs may be man's best friend, but horses are a woman's best friend. Forget diamonds ;)
NagainaFier 16
Amen. Rush is the only one who knows what to do with me when I'm grumpy; stand there, look adorable, and beg for scratchies.
mn_shr 22
What about Hercules' Pegasus? I'm sure he counts for something.
Rougeee 6
The Ranger horses in Ranger's apprentice are pretty badass too.
PimpdaddyCJT 13
Is everyone forgetting about the horse in Elderado?
Kitten_Calderon 14
Pretty much any animated or Disney movie horse is either a) a badass or b) an asshole. Sometimes both!
pugpuggy 21
#51, the horse in your profile pic is beautiful! Is s/he an Arab?
Vitualamen 11
I'd like to say it could have been worse, but I genuinely can't think of any way it could get worse. Hahaaa
RedPillSucks 31
Think Christopher Reeves.
Vitualamen 11
Wow...
Ambient25 24
or Genghis Khan
Ambient25 24
or the Mr. Hands video
dhaxor 9
Hahaha Mr. Hands! Giggity giggity!!
captaincrazy_x 8
Or she fell into a flaming pit of despair then the devil kicked her out for being to ugly then her horse stepped in her and she bled to death slowly and had to shoot the horse with the demon gun she got in the pit and had to crawl to the hospital then finally finish the extreme deadly super menstration caused by her horse and died inches from the door that would have been worse
zebramedic 10
Da fuq?
EmberEyes 16
Ouch bud. I'm really sorry.
mkcontrollers 11
A sorry comment. Yet they always comment like they will get a like! Lol
EmberEyes 16
Uhm I don't care about likes I genuinely feel bad for the guy.
Damian95 16
Sounds like a pain in the ass.
Ambient25 24
Mr. Hands was a pain in the ass
Wizardo 33
Oh, the stinging irony, why old universe, thy villain, why must you save a life with such a thing that causes immeasurable annoyance and pain?! WHY?!
awnedr 8
Well at least you didn't get kicked in the head op
SirTalkaton 22
You better quit horsing around.
bReLiNg 18
I'd say there is no getting back on at that point.
Catkam623 27
Stinging nettles up the ass found